Hands Of Time
by Blackberry Winter23
Summary: When Tony starts seeing a girl, Ziva has to remind herself she cares too much about their "friendship." The hands of time always make us see what we truly want, who can keep things bottled up forever? Tiva centered, constant team appearances. Post season 10.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. **So, I started writing this before _the situation_ but I need to keep writing for the sake of my soul. This is the way I pictured season 11 could go. This is Tony/Ziva centric but it won't look like it for a while. Plot shows up a little later, we'll get there. Short chapter, mostly flashblacks to get things started. Anyway, enjoy!

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**Chapter 1, The Night Before.**

"What the hell are we going to do?"

That was, in fact, one of the most asked questions in everyone's mind. Days before, Parsons started to dig in places he shouldn't have. He was removing waters and playing with everyone's mind with his "casual" investigations. Days before, they were all convinced he was going after Ziva because of the Bodnar situation but then, hours after that, things took a wild turn and Parsons showed up at the bullpen making it clear who his target was.

As a result, just hours ago Gibbs asked them to leave, to back off, to let him handle it for a start. They couldn't just say "no" since he made pretty clear it wasn't even a question or a request, it was an order. The three of them asked for an explanation, begged really, but all they got was one of Gibbs special loud looks and a "trust me" that was barely heard.

So, how couldn't they trust him? If the boss man had a plan, they wouldn't go against it. They stepped into Vance's office and resigned, no words needed. Tim texted Abby, Ducky and Jimmy and they all met in the parking lot for what seemed hours. Ducky kept reassuring "Jethro would find his way back and everything would be alright and back to normal" as he patted Tony's shoulder. Abby was upset, she was walking in circles and throwing her hands to the sky telling them both (but specially McGee) that they couldn't leave NCIS one more time, telling them how unfair it was and how she wanted Gibbs back _now_. Tim tried to calm her down but she was avoiding his touch. Sweet Abby, bless her heart, they really did love her and loved how much she cared but situations like this brought the worst of her. It wasn't fair, though. It wasn't fair that being federal agents with years of experience, evil things kept getting out of their hands.

Ziva shut her eyes closed as those memories came back to her. She was laying in bed, replaying all the previous events in her mind to see if that helped her understand. Everything has happened so quickly, without any warning. She took a few minutes before she let her mind go back to that parking lot. There were Tony and Ducky trying to figure out what Gibbs was up to and Abby yelling at Tim all the things they could've done differently right beside them. Then there was Ziva, who disappeared a few minutes after their meeting started and found a safe spot between Tim's and her car. It was almost like paradise, she couldn't hear them discussing and nobody could see her. She didn't want to believe she was hiding, no. Ziva David didn't hide from her problems but that was, in fact, what she was doing. That was what she needed. She needed to be away from everybody.

"There you are," She sighed, away from _almost_ everybody. Ziva looked up and encouraged the smiley man to sit by her side in an attempt to prevent being seen.

"You were looking for me, Jimmy?"

"Well, everyone there are talking non-stop about what you guys did, I was getting bored." Ziva frowned, he blinked rapidly. "Not that it wasn't a big deal, I mean, you're trying to save us and everyone there as always so it's of course something to talk about and it's important and-"

"Palmer," She cut him off and rolled her eyes. "That subject is boring me too, you happen to have something better to share?"

"Can you keep it as a secret?"

"I will do my best."

"Breena and I are trying to adopt." Ziva's mouth fell open at the _surprisingly great_ announcement and a relaxed laugh escaped her lips, at least someone was getting it right. She kept looking at him with a smile on her face and a glow in her eyes but words got caught up in her throat. Jimmy giggled and went on, his cheeks suddenly feeling a bit warmer. "I know, I know. We thought we'd give it a chance. It's… scary but I like to think about the good part when I have doubts."

She grinned and waited a few seconds to let her words come out in the right way, "The good part?"

"It wasn't an easy decision to make but," he cleaned his throat as an attempt to hide the excitement behind his words, "There are so many kids on their own, Ziva. I like to think I have the chance to help one of those kids and give him the life he dreams about, the life he deserves."

"He? So you wish to adopt a boy?"

Palmer laughed and took his gaze to the ground, "Breena wants a girl, I'd like a boy. We're still pretty early in the process so we have time to figure it out." The voices of their teammates got louder and they heard steps approaching. Ziva gave Jimmy a look and he replied with a warm smile. She was glad he was always able to smile. As Tony and Abby's silhouettes appeared they both stood up and walked to join them, Ziva grabbing Jimmy's shoulder as she encouraged him saying they "should maybe adopt both."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I edited the summary so you guys can know where I am eventually going. It's time for a much longer chapter, thank you so much for reading!

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**Chapter 2, The Night Before (Life Goes On).**

Ziva smiled as she replied the conversation in her mind. She started to wonder all the things they missed for being too caught up with all their cases and she asked herself how come they never had the chance to enjoy happiness. Palmer's wedding? A bomb explodes. McGee has a new girlfriend? Next thing they know they are quitting their jobs. Tony holds her hand? A car almost kills them. Good things never came without a couple of bad ones, that was just the way it was. She took her mind back to the previous night when they said their goodbyes and saw Ducky and Jimmy driving away. Tim asked her if she could give Tony a ride since he probably would have to drive Abby home. He wasn't half done with his sentence when they heard the engine of Abby's car and she drove past them, almost taking them between the wheels. It was safe to say she would be pissed at them for a long time.

And finally, there they were. The three musketeers, the _very_ special agent and his probies, Tommy, Lisa and McGregor, Gibbs' team. All on their own. They had no clue on what was next, what the hell were they supposed to do now? She was getting sick of that question. The glances they shared confirmed what they were feelings, they were confused. This whole thing was so new and unexpected for them. Tony asked them to meet him tomorrow at his apartment for dinner, Tim said he'd call him and Ziva simply nodded. Luckily for her, McGee offered Tony a ride before she felt the compromise to ask. They turned to face the building behind them and silently hoped for things to work out. She got inside her car and drove away before any of them came up with a different plan, she couldn't even stand herself right now, she didn't want to hurt any of them by saying or doing something she shouldn't. She would see them tomorrow. She would be more calm and less worried. She would see things clearly and understand all they had done. She hoped she would.

Just as she promised, she showed up at Tony's place with a fake smile she had practiced before leaving her apartment. He heard him running to the door and opening it quickly, running back to wherever he was before she could even say "hello". The place smelled different and she had to double check the scene happening before her eyes, Anthony DiNozzo was cooking or at least, trying to. Ziva smiled when he saw him struggling with some tomatoes and she took a step further to the kitchen.

"No, no," He lifted his palm as a stop sign. "The DiNozzo's recipes must stay secret. Get comfortable, I think I'll be done soon."

"Should I call for a pizza or wait a little bit longer?" To tease him while he was doing something that required his full attention was like a very enjoyable activity. He made her a face and pretty much kicked her out of the kitchen. She lifted her hands and walked away, standing in the living room.

Last time she was there she didn't have the mind to be nosy and go through his stuff but today, it wasn't any different. She looked around a couple of times before she made her way to his bedroom and she threw herself over the soft, small bed. A good night of sleep, that was something she was really aching for. Ziva reached for a pillow and she crossed her arms under it. She could still hear kitchen supplies falling and Tony cursing and talking to himself but as she closed her eyes, they only thing she could hear were all the previous conversations she had had last night. It was like watching a movie about her life, replaying every single thing she had done since she killed Bodnar until that exact moment of her laying in Tony's bed. Slowly, she came back to reality when the noises from the kitchen were replaced with footsteps coming her way.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Tony stopped by the door frame, taking his time to stare at her. Ziva had her face buried in his pillow, therefore she couldn't see him looking her up and down several times. He couldn't help it, he was convinced it was something on his DNA. Bringing his mind back to business, he walked to her and sat by the edge of the bed. He was trying to come up with a smart answer to her question and once he realized he was unable to think of one he left his foolish side answer for him. "Now, Ziva, now you move so I can lay on _my_ bed and be as comfy as you seem to be."

Ziva groaned, probably in frustration but she moved anyway. Tony accidentally hit his shoulder against hers and she replied hitting his feet with her own. It took them time to find a way to fit in the small bed but after some minutes, Tony imitated her position and crossed his arms under the other pillow, releasing the pressure between their shoulders. Their sides were still stuck to each other and Ziva thought about how fast the heat from his body reached hers. It hadn't been so long since they were next to the other in a bed. Soon enough, she opened her eyes and met his gaze almost instantly.

"I mean it, Tony," Her eyes traveled through his features. He was sweaty from his time in the kitchen but his eyes didn't look tired like her own. His eyes gave her a little hope. "Gibbs told us to wait but he did not say for how long, what happens now?"

"I don't know," She frowned, where was the hope in that? She gave him a minute to work out something else to say but when he closed his eyes and didn't go on, she couldn't help but push. "You do not know?"

"No. I'm trying to keep calm and see the bright side in this mess but I can't, it's hard."

"You have always liked challenges."

"Not of this kind."

Silence filled the room again. Tony still had his eyes closed so Ziva decided to join him and close her own. She didn't notice when she started to focus on his breathing the same way she had done in Berlin. There was something in the way air came in and out from his body that made her feel peace. It was merely the feeling of having him there, close to her, feeling the air filling his lungs. She would never accept it but she loved that. At some point, she started to drift off to sleep fighting with the little power she was putting in order to stay awake but at the end, she let go.

It wasn't until minutes (or hours?) later that she opened her eyes again at the sound of a phone ringing. As she assumed, Tony was no longer by her side and she could hear his voice coming from somewhere in the living room. It was a quarter after eight now, which told her she was asleep for almost forty minutes. It took all the power in her body to stand up and leave the bed that had felt so good against her body. She walked to the kitchen in the search of water, finding an all set-up table instead. There were fake flowers in the middle, a bottle of red wine, two empty glasses and two plates with pasta and a nice piece of salmon that smelled delicious.

"Bon appétit," Ziva jumped at his sudden appearance. "Or as I should probably say, _buon appetito_ _bambina_."

"_Grazie mille_," He moved the chair for her and then he sat across from her. They shared a delicate smile before Tony took his full attention to the food in front of him. Ziva took a few minutes to admire his enthusiasm. He looked at her, "What? It's good, I promise."

Ziva smiled and started to eat, making sure to drop a comment of how good it was every now and then. Tony rarely cooked so she thought she would give him a little encouragement to do it more often now that they had the time. "So, what is the occasion?"

"I could give you the list," He took a bite and talked until he was almost done with it. "For being unemployed, for having a messy life," _Gulp_, he finished his bite. "For being stood up by McGee, I mean, really. Who gets to say "McGee stood me up"? That's quite an occasion."

"He was the one who called," It was a statement, not a question. Still, he looked at her and asked her to go on. "And I assume he is really enjoying his time off with Delilah." Damn ninja, how did she do that?

"Who would've guessed, huh?"

"So you made dinner for McGee and since he did not show up you had to share it with me, yes?"

"I didn't have to do anything, Ziva." He chuckled. "I was only looking for some team distraction tonight and you are my team, it's all good."

Tony picked up both or their plates and disappeared into the kitchen. Those words –you are my team- echoed in her ears. They were friends, co-workers, a team. Yes, they were many things and yes, it was all good. Why were those words bothering her, then? Was it the way he said it? The way his eyes lost the shine they had early that day? Maybe it was the guilt she felt every time they talked about them as an "us". They were another thing she had screwed up. She went all for that last option and sighed. Grabbing both of their glasses and the now half-empty bottle of wine, Ziva made her way to the kitchen and leaned against the counter. "Can you keep a secret?"

"What kind of secret?" He turned to her. "I'm not in the mood for lethal, threatening secrets these days."

"It is more like a… happy secret." The corner of his mouth twisted in a smile and his eyes lit up. Tony DiNozzo sure liked gossip. She opened the bottle and poured more wine into their glasses as he spoke. "Spit it, David."

"Jimmy and Breena are going to adopt a child," Tony spilled a few of his wine on his mouth back to the glass and Ziva looked at him in disgust. "Keep the wine in your mouth, you cannot tell anyone."

"Ah, our little autopsy gremlin," He raised his glass. "He's growing up so fast."

"At least one of us has a happy life."

"Hey, I have a happy life!" Ziva laughed loud in purpose. "I mean, I don't have a hot, blonde wife who wants to adopt kids or a solid job but I think I have a happy life. It could be worse so no complaining."

Ziva nodded as Tony took both of their glasses to the sink. She walked to the living room with the intentions of calling it a night and drive home. Tony questioned her driving skills, as usual, but this time he meant it. She had had at least four glasses of wine and if he feared for his life when Ziva drove sober, he didn't want to imagine how she would do with a few drinks in her system. "I am fine, really. I will text you once I get home."

"Take it easy, ok? Streets are almost empty, it's not fast and furious."

"It is not what?"

"Fast and furious," he replied, she lifted her shoulders and gave him a blank stare. "Remind me to enlighten your world with movies during this time off, Ziva. It's about damn time."

She gave him a half smile and stepped closer to kiss his cheek. Tony tensed up in surprise and Ziva walked out of the door in a sudden rush. Well, now that was something new. As soon as she got inside her car she ran her hands through her face and blinked heavily a couple of times wondering where did that come from. What was she thinking? Oh, right. She wasn't thinking. She let go a long sigh and drove away. Meanwhile, Tony stood still for a moment right there in front of the door. He had a playful smile on his face. The best part of it, he thought, was that he could tell she did it without thinking. It came out so natural. As he went to his room, got out of his jeans and unbuttoned his shirt he swore he could still feel her warm lips on his cheek. Yeah, he could definitely get used to the feeling. His phone vibrated on the night stand next to his bed and he smiled as he read Ziva's promised text, "I am home."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying the story! In order to have this a bit more organized, I'm gonna be updating the story every monday. We're getting closer to the plot, I just really love slow burn stuff. Thank you again!

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**Chapter 3, Come Clean.**

The next day they met at Tim's place. It wasn't a common meeting point but it was fair enough. The man had stood them up, he had to pay. It was lunch time and Tony arrived (about twenty minutes later than agreed because, in his words, public transport was _that_ inefficient) with three boxes of Chinese food and a six-pack. He claimed that Tim had "missed the opportunity to taste a _mind blowing_ Italian dish last night" and Ziva chuckled in agreement, giving Tim a look. The place looked better than the last time Tony was there and Ziva couldn't really complain. Everything looked more organized, more professional, more writer-like. His probie was trying hard to impress that girl.

"So how's Delilah?" They were sitting in his couch despite the previous argument of the "no food in the couch" rule. Ziva was in the middle of the two men and they all had their feet up in the table in front of them. As Tony's words left his lips he leaned to catch a glimpse of McGee and Ziva looked at him from the corner of her eyes. Tim blushed a little and refused to meet both of his partners gaze. "She's alright, thanks for the concern. We had dinner last night and we had a pretty good time."

"You are seeing her again?" She spoke up before Tony had the chance to reply with a joke or, better yet, a movie reference. "She seems to make you happy."

"I will see her again," He stretched to grab his bottle of beer. "Not tonight, though. I promised Abby I would stop by. She's still pretty mad at us but she says she misses us."

"It's only been two days," Tony interfered.

"She does not want to see us?" Ziva pointed at Tony and herself as she asked. McGee sipped his beer. "She just thinks you two are… busier. I'm sure she'll get in touch, come on, it's Abby."

"Why busier? Do we have any plans for tonight, Ziva?" He lifted his brow and opened his eyes wider, a secret code to ask her to play along.

"Of course, Tony! We have to save the world tonight, you do not remember?" Tony groaned in surprise and Ziva hid her smile by sipping her beer. Tim rolled his eyes and stood up, grabbing the empty boxes and bottles and walking to his kitchen. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you both keep referring to yourselves as a "we", I'll make sure to ask Abby."

Ziva shook her head and Tony rolled his eyes as they listened to McGee's echo. When he came back he discretely sent them signs to make them leave and after avoiding them for a couple of hours, they left his place with the promise (or warning?) of coming back. Tony convinced Ziva to give him a ride home and she agreed. Despite of Abby's thoughts, she had nothing left to do that day and she didn't want to be home so soon. She started to take the long road, making sudden turns here and there and she was actually driving like a normal person. Tony's first reaction was to worry but then he caught the hint, he lowered the volume of the radio and took his sight to her. "So you wanna watch a movie? I did promise to enrich your life with some movie culture earlier."

She took a minute or two to reply and to think about what she was doing. This couldn't lead somewhere good. If they started to hang out together every day it would be harder to keep the walls up and she couldn't let herself bring them down. It was for the best. "At your place?"

"Best movie collection in town, you know that."

"Fine."

Just like that, they found themselves in Tony's apartment around fifteen minutes later. It took him another fifteen minutes to decide which movie they'd watch for the night, at the end choosing a title Ziva had never heard before. In the meantime, she got the popcorn inside the microwave and grabbed two cans of soda from his fridge. It wasn't until Tony stopped arguing with Ziva about the popcorn (he didn't like butter-free popcorn, he wasn't even sure why he had bought one of those) that he finally played the movie on the T.V and they sat shoulder to shoulder in the couch. Ziva crossed her legs and placed the popcorn bowl in the space between her knees. She let herself forget about everything and take the moment in. They rarely had movie nights and it was something they both really enjoyed, even if they didn't talk at all. She had made Tony promise he'd stay quiet while the movie was playing and, in return, she'd let him fill her with information and facts about it once it was over.

She really missed _them_. At some point she stopped paying attention to the movie and she realized how much she missed those kinds of things. Not just the movie nights, she thought. She missed them, she missed the Tony and Ziva thing. Things had definitely changed after their conversation in the woods or, even worse, after the Adam situation. She wasn't sure where all those actions came from. She wanted to give them a chance, to finally search for their happy ending but she couldn't. Instead, she lifted those walls that seemed impossible to take down. She had missed her chance, once again. It wasn't fair for Tony to be there the way she was; so close, so touchy, so domestic, no. He had made it clear, nothing's awkward between friends. That's what they were, friends. Thanks to her, nothing more.

"Tony," he didn't look away from the T.V. "I need to be… somewhere tomorrow morning."

"Uh-huh."

"So I will call you tomorrow."

"Uh-huh." She gave up. Attempting to hold a conversation with Tony while a movie was playing was useless. She stood up, grabbed her bag and walked out the door. She didn't look back to see if he noticed her leaving, it was better if he didn't. Maybe that meant he wasn't getting any twisted messages from her actions. It was a bit of relief. She got in her car and started driving, about five minutes later her phone rang. She didn't have to look to see who it was.

"_Why did you leave?_" She could hear the movie still playing in the background. He didn't sound upset, another relief.

"I told you, I have some things to do tomorrow."

"_Well, you could've stayed for the end. You didn't mention any plans for tomorrow."_

"I forgot about them," she wasn't sure if she could lie properly while driving. She was about to find out. "I am seeing an old friend. I will probably be busy for the day."

"_Aw, well. I'll have to find something to do by myself._ " Score, he didn't suspect.

"Sorry. I will try to find some space to call you, I have to go. I'm driving."

"_Have fun, goodnight_."

"Bye."

She hung up and she felt a bit bad for lying. What else could she do? She needed to put some space between them, she needed to remind herself the walls were right there where she had built them. She would text Abby in the morning, she was her only choice. She had no idea how she would survive this time off and if someone was creative _and _smart enough to give her some answers, that was Abby.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Good news is, my main idea for this fic starts here! I know this is short so I'll try to update later this week. Thank you so much for your reviews and follows! You guys make me so happy. Hard times are coming for us but hey, we still got fanfiction (and ice cream).

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**Chapter 4, Blues, You're A Buzzkill.**

Tuesday seemed like it had happened six months ago. Ziva couldn't believe that less than a week ago everything was relatively normal. It was eight forty-five in the morning, she just had returned from her morning run and if things were different, she would be stepping out of her apartment and driving to work in that exact minute. She took a shower, got dressed and made herself a decent breakfast, realizing at the very last minute how bad she had planned her alibi.

There was no way she could go see Abby since she actually had a job, it wasn't like everyone was unemployed in a Friday morning. Calling McGee was out of question, too. Tony would know right away she had lied. By the time she was washing the dishes she thought about how she did not have a single person to call. All her friends where from work, she didn't really know anyone else. Disappointed at her failed plan, she grabbed a book from her night stand and curled up in the couch. Apparently, she had a long day ahead.

"I don't remember any "daily meeting" agreement, Tony." Tim spoke as his partner walked inside his apartment, pressing a few keys on his typewriter as he made his way through a few notes on his desk. It was almost lunch time and Tim had the feeling the only thing Tony was looking for was free food. It was strange, though, he wasn't with his evil crime partner Ziva.

"I thought you got rid of this thing when that freak fan of yours almost killed Abby." He pointed at the typewriter behind him. "We don't want any other incident, McGregor."

"That was years ago," He grabbed a couple of books Tony had took from the shelf and placed them back with annoyance. "I write on my laptop but it's still nice to make notes with it every once in a while."

"Aha! So you are writing, huh? What's coming for Tommy? And for Lisa? Come on, tell me."

"Why are you here, Tony?" McGee's voice was desperate, Tony noticed. "Relax Timmy. Ziva's busy, I didn't know where else to go." He gave him a confused look, it was almost like his eyes we're screaming "Ziva's not busy with you?" but Tony stopped him from making any kind of comment by shaking his head several times. Tim apparently caught the hint and he sat on the chair in front of his desk, he really was going to ignore him and work on his stuff. Tony saw what he was up to and was half way through the door when Tim spoke again.

"Delilah wants to go for a drink tonight. She'll bring one of her closest friends," he cleaned his throat, there was no way in hell he was doing it and yet, there he was. "You wanna go? You haven't been out with a woman in a long time, this might be your chance."

Tony leaned against the door frame. Was McGee really the one setting him up on a date this time? No way. That would mean he was way too off his game. He took a minute to think about it, wasn't he too old for this? Screw it. He didn't have anything better to do.

"Time and place?"

"I will text them to you" He smiled, Tony smiled back.

"Alright. Friday night, baby!"

Tim closed his eyes in disapproval. Tony dropped an "I need to go out more often" comment before he shut his door closed and left him with his thoughts, a cup of tea and an open laptop.

And while Ziva recovered from the most boring day she had ever had, Tony put on some nice clothes and met McGee at a bar not too far from his own place. Thank God he didn't have to take the bus this time. The two men sat on a table close to a window and waited. It wasn't fair, Tony thought. Tim knew Delilah, he had no idea what kind of friends she would have.

It wasn't long until he found out. Tim stood up to greet a slim brunette girl wearing a black dress. Judging by the way he placed his hand on her back, that had to be the famous Delilah. She didn't seem geeky at all which meant he owed Ziva twenty dollars. He really had to stop betting against her. Tim introduced the long haired girl to him and Delilah introduced her friend. Both girls were about the same height, her hair was of a very light shade of brown, she could be easily be called a blonde. Her name was Kacey and Kacey was wearing a pink dress that fit oh-so well. The four of them sat down and ordered their drinks and it wasn't until then that Tony realized the probie had brought him so Delilah's friend wouldn't be the third wheel. When were the tables turn? He couldn't let the _special DiNozzo touch_ go to waste, not anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I couldn't leave you hanging, guys. You're too good with me! Thank you for your comments, I hope you're enjoying the story.

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**Chapter 5, Landscape.**

It had been a week since he last saw Ziva. They had talked on the phone, yes. He knew she was doing Pilates and had spent a girl's night with her new friends from her class last weekend, yes. He knew she was alright, yes, but it wasn't enough. He needed to see her, he needed to spend some time with her and that inspired him to call for a meeting at his place. Arguing they "needed to dig and see what they could find about Gibb's situation" he called Ziva and Tim and that night the three of them saw each other again. It was weird how it felt like they hadn't seen the others for years and still, after ten minutes of being together again, it felt like they never got apart.

"Anything, McGee?" They were in Tony's bedroom, it seemed cozy enough for their teenage-ish meeting. Ziva was on his bed (she seemed to really like it) with her back against the mattress and her feet up against the header. Tony was sitting on the floor with his back resting on one of the bed's post and Tim was on the small desk beside his closet browsing on his computer.

"Nothing yet," he yawned. "There's not much I can do now that we don't work in NCIS."

"Come on, since when a few passwords stop you, McLilah?" Tony laughed proudly of his joke and Tim sent him one of those looks he had got so many times through the years. Ziva moved so now she was lying on her stomach with her feet on the pillows. "How is she, by the way?"

"She is…" He caught Tony's eyes and thought twice about letting a comment about a certain Kacey girl slip from his lips. If tension and nervousness could have a human form in that exact second, that would be Tony. "Fine. She's doing fine, thanks Ziva."

"Let's talk about what we know," Changing topics as fast as he could, Tony decided to save himself. "Maybe we missed something. Gibbs always gives us more than we think."

"What we know is useless; he told us he would take care of it, we lost our job and then we did not hear from Gibbs again. Am I missing something?"

"He didn't give us a deadline." Tim answered to Ziva. Tony rubbed his hands on his face; they assumed he was trying to spot any irregular comment or action from his boss, Tim went on. "It's been two weeks, I really thought we would have some news by now."

"Two weeks are not long; we do not know what he's doing."

"What do you mean?" They both looked at Tony; he had his gaze firmly looking at some spot behind McGee's head. Ziva looked at Tim and he lifted his shoulders, when she took her eyes back to Tony he was attentively looking at her.

"Hum, well, we never really know what Gibbs is up to. You two have known him longer so you must know what I'm talking about." They nodded, "He can be somewhere as undercover, he can be in a special mission or maybe he sailed away in the boat he built in his basement, I do not know. He can be anywhere while we are here, waiting."

She didn't realize she was yelling until she finished talking. Wanting or not, she was mad at Gibbs. She was mad because she hated not knowing where he was, what he was doing or if he was in danger. She had experience in losing the people she cared about, she was used it but that didn't mean it stopped hurting. Tim went back to type on his computer and the room got quiet. Neither of them had an answer for Ziva but even if they did, staying quiet was their best option. It was a little after midnight and nobody had said a word for almost twenty minutes now. The only sound came from Ziva's feet hitting the wall and the keys McGee was hitting on his laptop. It was him who decided to break the silence. "I never thought I would say this but I actually miss my job."

"I miss my desk. And the chair, it was so comfy."

"You were always complaining about that chair, Tony."

"It was still better than yours."

Ziva gave him an interrogation-room kind of look but she let go when a yawn took over her. It wasn't long until Tony started to complain about his back and made Ziva move so he could lay on the bed too. She shook her head and hoped he wasn't making a habit out of it. As expected, they didn't find any useful information (or any information at all) and McGee fell asleep in the chair with his arms crossed over his laptop. Ziva still had her feet up in the pillows and she thought about moving, she didn't want to be responsible for any bruises on Tony's face in the morning. She sat for a moment before attempting to stand up to make her way to the couch but Tony grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. It was late at night so she really didn't mind that he left his arm around her or that he placed his free hand on her waist. Ziva's mind tried to think about it for a good thirty seconds, they were not doing anything wrong, right? It was late, they were tired, it was a small bed, and they just were trying to fit.

Well, even if it was wrong, she was too tired to care.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews! You make me want to upload every chance I get but I really, _really _don't want to get stuck with the story so I need a little time to write during the week. Writer's block is awful. Anyway, hope you're enjoying the story! I really like this chapter, to be honest.

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**Chapter 6, Where The Wind Blows. **

It was week three, not that he kept the count or anything. He was drinking coffee in a nice, small coffee place close to his apartment that he had never seen before. Tony's mind went back to the bullpen, that place always smelled like coffee thanks to _el jefe. _Rule number twenty-three, never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. He sighed and then took a bite of his cinnamon roll, he knew he should've waited for the girl to arrive but he was damn hungry. Today's was date number three with Delilah's friend, although he didn't really count the second date since she had to leave early. Kacey was really nice; she had a good sense of humor, she knew when to stop talking about herself, she didn't ask uncomfortable questions and, the best part, she understood his movie references. She was a little like E.J. but soon enough he shook that thought off his mind.

A few minutes later a girl with smooth hair and a brown –casual- dress joined him in the table. She had a very natural look and he liked that. It seemed that she was always smiling and she sure made other people smile, it was contagious. She was one of those people who change the atmosphere whenever they walk into a room. He knew what this date was all about, the pretty stuff had to stop. It was time to talk about ex-girlfriends, the job, the family and all the things he wished he could just avoid. Kacey ordered a cappuccino and a muffin right away which was nice since she didn't make any comment on Tony's half gone roll.

"I was so nervous when Delilah told me her boyfriend's friend was coming to that date, I've never been good with blind dates."

"I was worried you'd turn out to be…" He paused to choose the correct words, it wasn't time for her to see _that side_ of him yet. "Well, a little different from the girls I… see."

She tasted her coffee and smiled, "And how did I turn out?"

"You ended up being a very nice lady." Tony returned the smile and she held his gaze, letting it go a couple of seconds later. They ate in silence for a moment, a comfortable kind of silence that neither of them seemed to mind.

McGee was right, it has been a very long time since he was out for a date with a _real_ woman. Talking to girls in a bar didn't count, complicated (and unclear) bets by Ziva didn't count and talking out loud about a girl passing by definitely didn't count. For an entire year he never made a good attempt to get a real date, it was like he switched off that part of him. Why was that? He had no idea why he was worrying about that right in that moment but he couldn't help it. He knew, deep inside, that he shouldn't try to read anything else into it. He knew exactly the reason why he never looked for any girl in the past year but he just could never let himself acknowledge it.

"That day, in the bar," Kacey talked, his mind went back to reality. She seemed to notice how he was getting too far gone inside his little world. "All the things you and Tim told us about your job, I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, me too." He wanted to say something else; a joke, maybe, but it didn't come out. She looked at him for a moment and then took her attention to her food. The whole place felt a lot more awkward instantly and, even if it was just in his mind, he could totally feel everyone's staring at him. He pulled himself together as fast as he could and groaned, he really couldn't ruin this. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a little… distracted."

"It's ok, Tony. Losing a job is hard, especially after all those years." She placed her palm over his hand and he smiled at the tender touch. "They are your family."

"At least I didn't lose the "family" part, I don't know what I would do without them." He gently moved his hand away to grab his cup of coffee. In an attempt to keep the conversation going (or, at least, that's how Tony translated it), Kacey kept digging. "Without Tim?"

"And Ziva"

"Oh, who's Ziva? Another co-worker?"

Tony almost chocked on his coffee. "Who is Ziva," that was the question. Kacey had a very valid point, she was his co-worker but he couldn't think of one word, one sentence to describe her. If she had asked him the same questions eight years ago he would've answered it in a heartbeat. Back then Ziva was simply the Mossad trained, ex assassin girl that would kill him with paperclips or credit cards. She was (still is and will always be) the probie, his main target for jokes and a girl who liked it on top. Well, there, that was pretty simple. Describing the old Ziva was easy but the new Ziva, that was quite a challenge.

Ziva was his team, his partner, his friend. He traveled across the sea to avenge her death and he never felt more grateful than when he found her alive. He visited the city of lights with her and they ended up sharing more than the room. Dammit, he still needed to discuss that with her. Ziva, someone who had always had his back, someone who cared, someone who considered him to be _in _her life. She was the only one he could ever dream to open up with and the _post-elevator us _thing was something he really appreciated. Who was Ziva? The one he cared about the most? The one he protected when her father left her even though she pushed the walls up? She was the one he risked his career for multiple times, the one who knew he liked his martini shaken, not stirred. The owner of the hand he took in his before a car interrupted their little moment and the one who could definitely handle him by herself.

Hell, there was no way on earth to describe Ziva David in a few words. Even after all the thoughts he gave it, he came up with nothing. Where the hell was he, by the way? He made his mind go back to the present, back to the coffee house and back to the table he was sharing with Kacey. _Shit_, how long was he gone? Tony tried to read her, he had no idea for how long he was in silence, thinking. He went for his best option and decided to "casually" answer her question. "Yes, a co-worker." Well done DiNozzo, well done.

"You have a very long history with her, isn't that right?" She gave him no hints of irritation which only made him worry even more.

"I suppose," It was time to go, he couldn't handle any more questions. He checked his phone and faked a surprised face, telling Kacey he had forgotten his plans with his very good friend James Palmer. At this point, he didn't really care if she realized he was only running away. He figured she would understand, she seemed like the kind of girl who would allow some space when things got weird. He walked her to her car and she kissed him on the lips, he was grateful for not moving away or that would've been the end of his… relationship? What was this that he had with Kacey? Calling it a relationship would work for now. She drove away and he decided to walk home. If he started taking long walks every time his brain got full and, judging by the way things were happening so far it he would find himself in this kind of situations _a lot_, he figured he could make the best of it and end up with a great shape by the end of the summer.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Thank you, thank you, thank you! I think I have been convinced, I'll try to update later during the week as well. Hope you're enjoying this as much as I am!

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**Chapter 7, Storm Warning.**

_Today was a month since that unforgettable day happened. He never thought things would be very different but ever since then, the answers McGregor once had over the palm of his hand were long gone and nowhere to be found._

McGee sighed as he selected the previous text he had written on his laptop and pressed the "delete" key. The first three chapters of his new creation had come so easily to him and he hated how he couldn't even find a proper way to get the fourth chapter started. He knew all about the writer's block; it happened to every writer, it made you want to hang yourself and all you could think about was throwing the laptop to the window. It drove him crazy, really, but he couldn't let it come to him.

He scrolled up through his _very_ rough document and read a few sentences from the other two chapters to see if it helped him to come up with something. In a few occasions it was a word that led him to a complete different world, a word that gave him titles, introduction lines and even characters. He was hoping today would be one of those days.

So far, he had written about how Tommy, Lisa and McGregor had sacrificed a lifetime in the agency for their boss. In his book, they had more information than just a few words from Gibbs. For example, they knew L.J. Tibbs was working undercover in Mexico and that he needed them to resign so they could join him when he told them to. With the great Amy Sutton still working in the agency, they still had partial access to files and private information so even though they weren't with their boss, they were still helpful. They didn't know a lot but at least they knew they had a future and thanks to that, they managed to enjoy a bit more their free time. Tommy and Lisa were still having an affair and now that they were not working together, they could finally call it a relationship. Things between McGregor and Amy were somehow cold but McGregor hoped he would change that during his time off. Things were looking up, one way or another, that was the best thing about fiction.

The truth is he was too optimistic in this new book. It has been a month of no phone numbers tracing, no password challenges, no background researches, nothing. It had been a month of absolutely nothing and that had him on the edge, it was driving him insane. He wished he had as much information as McGregor did but not knowing a single thing about Gibbs only pissed him off even more. He also secretly wished Abby, Jimmy or Ducky had overheard something about the topic but it seemed that everyone in the office kept their comments to themselves.

The last time the six of them met (just about three days ago), Tony's apartment fell in complete silence as everyone looked up to the ceiling, to the movie shelf or to the window, anywhere but to each other. They were all too tired of knowing nothing, too tired of not being able to do anything to help. They were powerless, stressed out and messed up. Today was Tuesday and exactly four weeks ago, things were still under the concept of "normal".

But what was normal? He didn't think he had the answer to that question anymore even though it sounded so simple. Tim saved the changes in his document and closed his laptop, he was in need of a break. He certainly wasn't in the mood for tea and he would lose sleep if he drank coffee so a cold beer was the way to go. Letting his weight fall into the couch he let his mind go back to the question. Besides of the obvious, things were not so normal lately. He knew Tony was lying to Ziva about his relationship with Kacey despite he had been seeing her for almost a month now. He knew Abby and Ziva were getting closer, which was something very good but Abby wasn't acting the way she used to act with him anymore. It wasn't Ziva's fault, that he knew. He also knew Jimmy was adopting a child but apparently he was late to the party on that one. He didn't know what "normal" was, that's all the information he had and for someone who loves having things clear and organized it was safe to say he wouldn't stop fighting until he found the answer to the now impossible question.

He almost crashed the bottle on his hand when the phone made its sudden sound. It took him a good ten seconds to realize what was happening and another second to pick up the phone.

"_It was about time! I thought you were going to ignore me."_

"What do you want, Tony?" Tim's heart was still racing fast and even though Tony's "surprise" calls didn't surprise him anymore, he still wished he would warn him.

"_I'm going to tell her tonight._" He could hear the sound of the microwave in the background and some voices too but soon enough he realized it was the T.V.

"Going to tell what to who? I'm not in the mood for riddles."

"_Geez, alright. I called Ziva, I want to tell her about Kacey tonight. This secret… I'm gonna end up dead if I don't tell her soon."_

"Really?" Oh boy, that sounded like trouble. The last thing they needed was to be apart and his writer/special agent gut told him things wouldn't be the same after that conversation. He heard Tony mumbling at the other side of the line. "I mean, are you sure? I don't think Ziva is going to take it that well."

"_What? Why? What do you know that I don't?!_"

"Relax," Rambling while nervous was Tony's thing, he did it ever since he could remember. "I just thought you and Ziva had a… well, you know, you've always been very close and it seemed that you two-"

"_You're rambling!" _Tony interrupted with a shout that only made McGee even more anxious.

"It seemed that you two were working things out, Tony! That's it. I don't know what changed and I don't want to know right now, all I'm saying is that this won't bring any good."

_"I have to tell her. I already fear for my life, probie! If I keep it away from her any longer there's no doubt I'll end up lying on my bathroom's floor with blood all around me."_

"She'd never kill you." That was the only thing that managed to come out of Tim's mouth. There was no way to stop Tony from talking to her, all he could do was expect the best. He knew Tony was worried and he also knew he had ignored any kind of comment about his relationship with Ziva but he wouldn't push it. To be honest, the last thing he wanted right now was more problems.

"_If I don't call you after midnight send the paramedics to my place._"

"Don't call me after midnight, at all. If you're dead I'll see it in the morning news."

"_Okay,_" A frustrated McGee wasn't the kind of McGee he liked to tease. Tony still had to rehearse his words, make sure everything would come out right. "_I'll call you tomorrow… or not, I don't know. See ya._"

Tony hung up before he could say goodbye. The beer he was drinking wasn't cold anymore and his mind was even more scrambled than before. He was worried, even though he knew Tony and Ziva couldn't be away from each other long that didn't stop them from getting apart for a considerable time. Where was his team? He couldn't see it fall too. It didn't matter if Tony thought this was a good idea or if Ziva took the news as good as she could. Uh-uh, he knew this would lead to no good and no one would tell him otherwise.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: I know the chapters are a bit short so that's why I'll try to update twice a week. I have a question for you. _If _they go back to NCIS, would you be interested in reading about cases or should I... kind of just mention the case but not get too much into it to focus a bit more on the team and Tony/Ziva's relationship? I'd appreciate your comments! Thank you for the reviews, means the world to me.

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**Chapter 8, It Is What It Is **

Tony's talk with McGee only made him more nervous. It had been almost two hours since he hung up the phone and Tim's words were still echoing in his ears. Was this really such a bad idea? He knew lying to her was wrong but he really didn't see where Tim's paranoia came from. Ziva was good at keeping composure (ok, sometimes) but he was almost sure she'd understand. What McGee had told him was kind of true, the whole undefined relationship thing. They were close, yes, but once again it wasn't their time and he couldn't wait for her forever. Frankly, he didn't like to think about it because every time his mind went to _that _place all he wanted was to take a seat and wait as long as necessary.

But no, he couldn't keep doing this. Ziva had made it "clear" that they were just friends and whether if it was convincing or not wasn't his problem. He cared about her and he'd always be there for her but it was time to face reality and keep going. One more thought was being created in his brain but was interrupted with a knock on the door, it was show time.

"Hey!" He made emphasis on the "y" longer than needed and as Ziva stepped inside, she played along and joined him in his long greeting. "You look nice!"

"Thank you," She spotted the pizza box in the table placed in front of the T.V. There were a few movie cases and an open can of soda too. "Movie night? You did not tell me your plans."

"Not exactly." Tony looked up to the ceiling and then continued. "You want a soda, a beer, anything?" She looked for his gaze but he didn't give in, Ziva's face got serious for a moment and then she laughed. "Soda is fine. Why are you trying to keep me happy? It is not very normal."

"Don't lie to yourself Miss David, I always keep you happy."

Ziva smiled sarcastically at his comment and after he placed a can of soda in the table, he sat on the opposite side of the couch. For a moment, all they did was eat and watch one of the movies which case belonged to one of the ones in the table (Ziva couldn't figure out which one, Tony didn't care) in complete silence. It was odd, even when they were watching a movie they would find something to talk or joke about but Ziva assumed Tony was tired.

Things started to feel awkward after thirty minutes of a quiet Tony. If he was tired or simply not in the mood for movies, why did he invite her? Clearly something was in his mind. Ziva could've pretended she didn't notice, she could've kept eating in silence watching a movie that didn't make sense but they were past that. They still were the "post-elevator" them, they told each other all kinds of personal things, right?

"Something's on your mind, Tony?" She looked at him curiously and Tony's heart began to race. There was no way to keep avoiding the talk, it was now or never.

"Yes," He stood up. Wait, should he stand up? No, no, that would make it seem too serious. He pretended to stretch his legs and then sat back where he had been all night. "Yes, in fact."

Ziva's glance encouraged him to go on. He moved a little closer to her and she grabbed the remote to mute the T.V. Tony looked at her, and then to the ground, and to the ceiling and back to her. In a very _casual _movement, he reclined his neck into the back of the couch and locked his hands together. "It's nothing… it's just something I need to tell you."

"It is nothing but it is something, huh." She wasn't sure if it was a right time to tease him, whatever he needed to tell her seemed to make him very nervous but she didn't stop. Ziva smiled at him and Tony wished a hundred times she hadn't done it. Her smile, oh boy, that always caught him off guard. She looked so innocent, so beautiful but now it was not the time. He cleared his throat (twice) and mentally counted to three (about five times) before dropping the bomb.

"I'm seeing someone."

As good as Ziva was to hide every sign of feelings behind a solid face, he had learnt how to read her through the years. The corners of her lips that were curved into a smile slowly fell back to their natural position, her jaw tightened and she started to blink rapidly. He also noticed how, eventually, her whole body tensed and the smallest bit of confusion glowed in her eyes. Oh God, he wasn't clear enough, was he? Seeing someone could mean a lot of things, he needed to be more specific. He was almost sure of what Ziva's next question would be and he needed to organize his mind as fast as he could. Damn it, where was that napkin where he had written his speech? The one he rehearsed all day, he had all the right words right there, he had-

"Oh," Tony's mind went blank as she spoke; Ziva looked away from him and then smiled. "Good."

"Yeah," But… where were the questions? And the possible argument? He was prepared for all that but Ziva didn't look like she was going to say a word. In a desperate act, he figured he'd give all the information by his own account. "Her name's Kacey, very nice girl. She's friends with McGee's girlfriend."

"Good." She repeated. As she straightened her back and lifted her feet to the couch, she uttered something Tony didn't catch. The place went quiet once again but Tony's nerves didn't let it happen for too long. "So, what do you think?"

"Do you want my blessing? What I think does not really matter, at least not in this."

"Your opinion is important to me."

And so it happened, it finally happened. A part of her knew Tony would move on and find someone else after she pushed him away right when it was their perfect time. It was a logic move, hoping something else would happen was no option but still, there was this other part of her that wished he would've kept pushing. She wasn't good with the whole "relationships" thing, she wished Tony would have seen that. Ziva was only sure about one thing: if she told him she was not happy about it, he wouldn't go with it. If she told him she wanted him but she needed a little help, he'd be right there with her. Did she deserve it? No. After all the pain, all the judgment, after expecting everything from him and nothing from herself she did not deserve him at all. Tony was a good man, way too good for her. He deserved someone who could give him what he wanted without all the questions and doubts and insecurities she had. He deserved someone who would love him without having to wait a lifetime, someone who would make him happy and bring the best of him. She didn't deserve him; she was sure about two things after all.

"I think it makes you happy and if it makes you happy, then it is something good."

A rush of relief went through his veins when she spoke. Ziva had been quiet for almost five minutes after his question and the entire time he wished he could've read her mind. "Thank you for being honest."

"Yes." She gave him the best half-smile she was able to put on. In front of them, the movie was still running and there were about five slices of pizza left in its box. She didn't think Tony would ask her to stay a bit longer but, just in case, she grabbed her bag and left the napkin that was on her lap over the table. "I'm going to go now."

"Ziva," He barely got to stop her by the door frame. "Are you sure everything's good? I don't want things to change. You know I hate awkward, specially between us."

She opened her mouth as she was about to say something but then she closed it and smiled instead. She grabbed Tony's wrist and moved his arm so she could step outside the door but she didn't let go. He turned his body with Ziva's movement and then she moved her hand to his chest. "You said it once, right? Nothing is awkward between friends."

Tony stared at her and she kept his gaze for as long as she could before walking away. He watched her disappear in the hall and then, only then, wondered if McGee would end up being right after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: The titles make less and less sense with every chapter and still, you guys are here. You deserve a big ice cream cone for that. Thank you so much for reading! I will try to update soon, school started today so life's unpredictable again. Thanks again!

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**Chapter 9, Dandelion.**

It was funny just how much time Ziva seemed to spend inside her brain these days. Everything was routine now; the sun would rise, a few (or a lot) of hours would pass and then the sun would hide because it was the moon's turn to watch over this side of the world now. As I said, routine. Long, boring, annoying routine but a part of it was quite interesting. The sun came out every single day and fulfilled his working hours with no complaining. The sun couldn't skip work because he wasn't feeling well or because he was upset…. no. It raised everyday and gave the best face it could give, leaving all his problems aside.

But clearly, she had way too much free time on her hands.

She had seen the sun rising and setting a lot these days. Just like a day or a week or a month had passed since she left her job, time kept running and now she was reaching the three-months-unemployed mark. As occupational therapy (this girl from the Pilates class, Nora, had told her a lot about it) Ziva kept a diary now, or at least she tried. During the first month since things suddenly changed, her personal life didn't change much. She had seen Tony and McGee three times and they had two meetings with the rest of team. Since the whole diary thing started during the second month she just wrote basic stuff to remember on some specific dates. It was an empty, ordinary diary in month one but in month two, things got a twist again.

It had been two months since that night and she's only seen Tony twice. He tried to reach her after she left his apartment but they never reached any good terms. In her defense, she wasn't hiding, he appeared to be "too busy" to make it to their meetings so normally it was just Tim and herself. Three months and they still had no idea where Gibbs was or what was he doing. McGee had dropped a comment about how it was probably time to start looking for a job during one of the Team Gibbs meeting and he got hit by multiple pillows a very mad Abby threw and, speaking of Abby…

"I knew they were going to accept you! So when do I get to take Baby Palmer to my lab?" Ziva spent a lot of time with Jimmy and Abby now, for some reason they seemed to understand why she liked those private meetings better than the other ones. They were in _The Palmer's_ apartment, Breena and Abby made their way to the living room with cookies and coffee as Abby's words filled the room with joy and excitement.

"You'll have to wait a few!" Jimmy laughed, Breena sat next to him. "We still have to wait some months; it's such a complicated and long process."

"But it is worth it," Ziva said softly. Abby, who shares the couch with her, turned her body so she could face her as she speaks. "Family is family."

Everyone seemed to be touched by Ziva's comment and something tells them that she's not talking about the baby anymore. Breena and Jimmy smile at her and Abby takes her hand with adoration, all of a sudden Ziva seems more vulnerable. "We are family."

"I know," She sighs and, just like that, the normal Ziva is back. "Have you decided if you want a girl or a boy yet?"

"That's actually part of the requirements for the process so we had to decide it pretty soon," Breena said and Jimmy's smile grew. "We decided to adopt a girl."

"Oh my God! A baby girl! I totally have to take her to my lab, she will be the next Abby Sciuto."

"Nothing would make us happier." Jimmy laughed and once again, the room was filled with joy and happiness. Three months, Ziva thought, three months without working with this people. Three months without going to Abby's lab or to the autopsy room to visit Ducky. Three months without hearing Gibbs saying "grab your gear" or, more specific, three months without hearing Gibbs at all. No sniffing McGee's desk, no head slaps, no inside jokes with Tony, nothing.

She was hardly keeping contact with the team she loved so much. Ziva had a great time with Abby and Jimmy and she went out with those two way more than with the rest of the team. She was with Ducky once, too. They met in a coffee house close to the NCIS building and they shared one of their special and deep conversations. With McGee, things were a little bit different. He was Tony's best friend (even if he tries to say otherwise) and she always watched her words around him. They talked about their activities or their old job but it never seemed to get too personal and she understood, really, but that didn't make her stop thinking about their old days.

"Ziva?" Abby's voice dragged her to reality again. She blinked and met her eyes, realizing everyone had their attention on her. How long was she off? She really needed to stop thinking about the meaning of life when she wasn't on her own. "Yes?"

"See? I told you she wasn't listening." Abby looked at Jimmy and he lifted his shoulders. "I asked if you were alright… how you holding up?"

"What do you mean?" They had to be talking about Tony but asking about it gave her a few more seconds to think about what she would say. Breena stood up saying she "had some stuff to organize in the studio" but she knew she was only trying to give them some space, some Team time.

"You know what I mean, we're worried."

"I am fine, Abby." Her eyes narrowed in response and Jimmy gave her an understanding smile, she went on. "It has nothing to do with me, it does not affect me."

"Are you sure?" A cautious Palmer speaks up and both girls look at him, he gets nervous almost immediately. "I mean, you and Tony. You guys seemed to have… something."

"We are friends," Abby's gaze returns to Ziva. She looks down at the coffee table and her voice lowers in almost a whisper. "Nothing more, clearly."

"Well, you are _clearly_ upset Ziva." She makes emphasis on the word that just left her friend's lips. "Why don't you talk to him? Even Jimmy knows how Tony feels for you, is it really that hard for you both to just… admit it?"

"It is not that simple, at least." It doesn't give him time to react to Abby's comment since it was all, apparently, to get her to speak. If they only knew. "I ruined it, I have to live with it."

"What?" He's talking before he even realizes it. Palmer keeps going, "Why did you ruin it?"

"I insisted him we were only friends, I think I made it clear."

"But even Gibbs knows you're not!" Abby yells, "You two need to fix this!"

"I know," Breena walks into the room but Ziva doesn't make any attempt to look at her. "And if he ever has time for me or for this team, I will."

"Don't say that." Breena links her arm with his as Jimmy talks. She gives him the best smile she can pull out and her gaze goes back to the table in front of her. She wonders why they're not laughing because, if it was her hearing the words she spoke, she sure would be cracking up. Once more, there she was blaming it all on DiNozzo. Ziva blamer herself, yes, but she always ended up blaming it on him. It was her way to deal with all this, she assumed.

Why were they even having this conversation? She seriously didn't know her relationship with Tony was so well known. It was different between them, that was obvious but she never knew how different things were. Everyone was quiet and Abby tried to break the silence by talking about her brother… or her hippo, she didn't hear exactly which.

"I should get going," As Ziva stood up from the couch, the other three did the same. She smiled unconsciously to herself. "I will see you soon."

Breena was the first to say goodbye, then Jimmy. Ziva would have never imagined she would be so close to him but she was glad she was. Someone as happy as Jimmy was good to have around, he never failed to make her smile. Abby hugged her tight and asked her again to fix things with Tony, she claimed she really missed the whole Team Gibbs together. Ziva simply nodded and Jimmy didn't close the door until they saw her taking the elevator. It was hard seeing them like that, apart. She wanted her team back just as bad as Abby did, she wanted her family but fixing things with Tony seemed like an impossible task. She had to try, one way or another. There was no way she was losing them; she couldn't afford to be away from them. She had to try, for them, at least.

They were worth it, they were family.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Chapter 10, wow! My heart still races everytime I clic on the reviews, I really want this story to be something you find enjoyable. Thank you for sticking around, thank you for reading, thank you!

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**Chapter 10, Somewhere Trouble Don't Go.**

"Accept it Tony, it was your fault." Tim was tired of being the host of every single meeting they had, especially because they were just guys now and "just guys" only meant "just mess." He still remembers every single word he told to Tony two months ago - it's never going to work, it won't bring any good, it's only going to cause more problems – but, of course, who even listened to him anyway. What did McGee knew about relationships? No, no. He had to be wrong.

Well, he wasn't.

There they were in their super manly reunion. After Tony talked to Ziva, it was just the two of them who spent some "team" time together or went out in double dates. Tim was grateful they still talked to each other and everything but with Tony, he always reached a point when it was just too much to handle, too much for one person. It was in moments like that when he found himself reaching that point when his brain lit up and one good day, he invited the great and happy Mr. James Palmer to their little event.

"I just told her the truth! This would be a hundred times worse if she would've found out by someone else." Jimmy had opted to sit in a chair he dragged from the kitchen to leave the two men (and their discussion) in the couch. The reunions in his place were way better, he thought. If they were in his place just like Ziva and Abby were a few days ago, they wouldn't be fighting or at least they would be fighting with a delicious homemade coffee and wheat cookies in front of them instead of cheap, unreliable Chinese food. Tony dropped some of his food to the floor to make his point clearer. "Besides, if you want to blame someone McCasanova, you're the first one to sink!"

"What?!" Palmer almost let his plate fall when Tim's question was louder than expected. "What do I have to do in all this?"

"Oh, come on!" Tony laughed, "_You_ made me go to your stupid date night and _you_ introduced me to Kacey!" Tim rolled his eyes and Tony crossed his arms firmly after leaving his plate on the coffee table, then everything got quiet. Clearly, it had been a bad idea agreeing to come to their "special" reunion. Now Jimmy was stuck there and he felt like the referee of a soccer game, right in the middle (not literally, but it worked for his reference) of the two points of view. Tony sighed and McGee sighed louder, then Jimmy decided he had had about enough. "It already happened, just… let it go."

Ever since he was a little boy, he had been told he was the worst when it came to keeping secrets. It was something about his eyes, according to every single person in the Palmer's family. The point is he never believed them. How hard could it be to keep a secret? Maybe he wasn't the most discrete person in the world but he could do it. At least, he always thought he could do it until he found himself sitting in a chair in front of two federal agents.

"What do you know, Palmer?" Tony was the first to speak up and Tim looked at him attentively. He had never seen two people going from enemies to partners that fast in his life. On the other hand, he had always wondered how it would be like to sit in the interrogation room, to know a bunch of other agents are looking at you through a fake mirror, to have Gibbs and his killing eyes on you. Yes, no wonder why the criminals always gave up. "Nn-nothing."

"I think someone in this room is lying to us, don't you Tony?"

He laughed with joy, Tony was really enjoying this moment. Jimmy looked at the two men in disbelief and Tim moved to the side of the couch that was closer to his chair. As Tony left his spot to sit in the table in front of Jimmy, he answered his friend's assumption. "Oh, someone is clearly lying here, probie."

"Guys come on," Both of their stares remained on him, he smiled nervously. "I mean, you are the ones who have problems with the girls, not us."

"The girls?" Tony's brow frowned and he turned his head to Tim. Almost immediately, Tim took his gaze to Tony and spoke pretty much at the same time, "Us?"

Now he had no doubt at all this had been a very bad idea. Jimmy took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes; he inhaled, exhaled and let his mind process his friend's questions. "Abby and Ziva," He looked at Tony and then proceeded to look at McGee, "And "us" as in me and Doctor Mallard, we all get together from time to time."

Tim and Tony exchanged looks. Tony narrowed his eyes and McGee looked like if he was thinking about something very complicated. Jimmy thought they'd never shut up but when they did, he felt a little scared. To his fortune, Tony was the first to speak up again. "You've been hanging out together, as a team, without us?" Once again, they both looked at him expectantly. The mood in the room was different, though. They weren't interrogating him anymore, if he didn't know them better he would have said they were somewhat hurt.

"Well, remember that last time we all got together about a month ago?"

God, they wish they could forget about that.

"Yes, remember how everyone was quiet and you," He pointed at Tony, "spent all night looking at Ziva and then she got mad because you wouldn't stop looking at her and you both started to scream while we all took our full attention to our food?" _Bam_, he clearly hit Tony's weak point because just when he stopped talking, he looked away to some spot in the kitchen's wall. "And you?" Tony jumped when he kept going and returned his attention to the conversation as Jimmy pointed, this time, at McGee. "Remember how you turned a small comment Abby made about your girlfriend into a huge screaming fight? You didn't even realize Doctor Mallard and I left until about twenty minutes later, when you called to apologize."

He couldn't believe all those words had left his mouth and apparently neither did Tony nor Tim. For a long minute, he felt really bad. He didn't want to hurt his friends but then he realized he was glad he was the one who dropped the bomb (he didn't like that expression but it was needed) and opened his partner's eyes. Jimmy was glad for all that but he also knew it was time to leave, they probably needed time to let his words sink into their minds so he stood up, returned the chair to where it belonged and left the room without saying a word.

"Palmer." He was half way in the hall when he heard Tony's distinct voice calling him. Tony was standing against Tim's door and Jimmy walked back to his direction. His face was serious and he really thought he was about to throw all kinds of comments to him in revenge. Instead, Tony's face softened as his lips parted to speak again. "How is she?"

"Well… hurt," Oh no, no no. One thing was to talk about Tony or Tim's personal life and a very different one was to talk about Ziva's life. He really never meant that word to leave his mouth but the way Tony's face changed with it told him it was better to clear it up."She's not… I mean, she's disappointed. I really don't know, you should talk to her."

"Yeah." They stood there, one in front of the other in silence for a short time before Tony went back inside and closed the door without adding any other comment. Jimmy didn't move for some extra minutes, he wanted to give his mind a moment to go back to its normal state. A part of him was worried, who knows if Tim and Tony would ever forgive him for talking to them like that. The other part of him was positive because hopefully, Tony would talk to Ziva. Hopefully, Tim would see Abby just wants the best for him. Hopefully, they would be the team they were before things got messy. Hopefully, all this would be worth it. All the words, all the truth, all the feelings, everything.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: Remember that time I said I didn't want to get stuck with the story? Well, I think it's happening. I'll try to get myself together, write and post again this week but if I end up updating until next week, I apologize. Thank you for sticking around and for reading, this is all for you!

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**Chapter 11, Tug Of War.**

None of them knew how on earth they ended up in the same room. Well, alright, that's most likely a lie since Abby always needed a little extra help to polish her plans. They were in the edge of "the messiest four months ever" mark now but ever since that day, things were not so very different. The half of the team that still had their job at NCIS tried to investigate or overhear anything that seemed important or private. Director Vance was a recurrent presence in the autopsy room and every time he was there, Jimmy tried to disappear to leave him and Ducky alone and see if he could get something out of him.

Then, down in Abby's lab, the temporal replacement team as she liked to call them (let's face it, _her_ team would be back eventually) spent a long time staring at her while she ran multiple tests on pieces of evidence without saying a word. It drove her insane. She had always had the firm idea that everyone, at some point, breaks. It doesn't matter how strong they are or how cold they seem to be, everyone needs to let things out. It was getting harder and harder for them to hold on to hope but then things changed. For the first time in a very long time, they had news, Abby had news and that required an urgent Team Gibbs meeting.

And here is where Abby needed as much help as possible.

First, the three of them met at her lab during lunch time. Ducky and Jimmy listened carefully to Abby's words but she only told them she had big news to share with all of them so it wasn't such a big deal. The big, complicated and important deal was what came next, the evil part of her plan.

Each of them was responsible of one of their co-workers to bring them to the meeting and since Abby was the one with the information, she chose first and she chose Ziva. Jimmy protested immediately and then they spent about ten minutes listening to his multiple reasons of why neither Tony nor McGee would answer his calls. Sadly for her, it was fair enough. Since Abby didn't want to call Tim and Jimmy didn't want to (or couldn't) call the boys, it was Ducky who brought order to the plan. He gave Ziva to Jimmy, that was the only way to go with him, and he gave Tony to Abby. He would take the good Timmy. Abby didn't seem to be so happy with how the plan ended but she couldn't complain. Instead, the three of them got started on their job. They had one mission, bring the three of them together and get through the night without anyone dying.

So finally, one way or another, there they were. It was a medium sized hotel room, big enough for the six of them to fit without any complications. Abby was sitting in the bed, Ducky was in a chair from the very small living room by the window and Jimmy was sitting on the couch for two. The three of them were looking at their tensed, disorientated and kind of pissed off partners who were, for once, standing all next to the other. Ziva had her eyes firmly placed on Jimmy's. He had told her he was planning a surprise for Breena and wanted her opinion on the hotel room he was supposedly getting. Then there was Tony, staring at Abby with disbelief since he really was looking forward to that "secret movie festival" happening on the downtown hotel. And Tim, well, he had known all along and Ducky asked him to set the example to his friends by giving in so he walked through the room and took a seat by Jimmy's side. Tony and Ziva looked at him with aversion.

"What is this?" Ziva was still staring at Jimmy when she talked. He looked at his sides nervously asking for someone, anyone, to answer that question for him.

"So you knew, McBackstabber?" Instead of getting an answer, Tony spoke up. Tony and Ziva must have been too busy interrogating his partners to realize they were standing next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, with their arms crossed in front of them. Abby couldn't help the smirk that showed on her face.

"What is this?" Ziva asked once again with a more aggressive tone. She must have felt Tony's movement against her shoulder during that exact second because she took a couple of steps away from him, suddenly. She didn't feel like asking the same question again when nobody answered but it was impossible for her to simply stay quiet. "You have a motive for this and I would like to know it before I have to resort to other methods."

"And you didn't tell us," Tony kept his own conversation's trail and it seemed that he hadn't listened to a word Ziva had said. Instead, he took a few steps closer to where Tim and Jimmy were sitting, never leaving Tim's gaze. Ducky made a sign with his hand to Tony that could only be interpreted as "shut up and let me talk"; it was just a matter of throwing an English accent and large words to make it accurate.

He caught the hint, though, and he leaned against the T.V furniture so he could face everybody. Abby was still in the bed and for some reason everyone was staring at her, expectantly. Abby had been focusing on how to get them together for this reunion, she never actually thought about what she would say or how would she say it. It made her nervous. The vibe in the room wasn't the one she would've wanted but given the circumstances there was no way to complain. With their eyes still on her and with Ziva dangerously close, Abby talked.

"I have something," She looked by her side, at Ducky, and he nodded. Then she took her gaze a little bit to the left, where Jimmy was. "We have something."

"Something?" She turned her head when she heard Ziva talk as she saved a note in her mind: never give your back to a mad ex-Mossad agent.

"What do you mean with "something"?" Tony emphasized with his hands as that particular word left his mouth. "Something, they have something Tony." Tim said and when Tony looked down to meet his gaze, the conflict between the two men showed again.

"Oh, I didn't catch that, probie! I must be the only one here who doesn't know what we're talking about because you clearly know." Tony mocked and then he looked across the room. "Do you know why we're here, Ziva?"

"They claim to have something, Tony." They talked directly to each other for the first time in months and that made the atmosphere of the room change radically. They were fighting, yes, but at least not with the other. "Something that they will not tell us. Not even after they brought us here with lies."

"Ohh! So I am not the only one clueless person here! You are right, Timmy. It does make me feel better. I am feeling entirely—"

"Stop!" Abby cried with desperation and as everyone took their sight back to her, Tony immediately stopped talking. She took a moment to look, really look, at every single one of them. Tony's mind went back to when they first met so many years ago. Those eyes, it had been such a long time since he had seen Abby look at someone that way and it felt awful to be the one receiving that look. "What is wrong with you three?" She stopped for a second, maybe to reconsider her words but she went on. "You promised nothing would change, that we would still be a family and look at you now. You can't even be in the same room without yelling, without fighting. What changed, huh? What changed!"

"Abby," Ziva, the one closer to her, tried to place her palm on her shoulder but she moved aggressively. She asked her question once more, a little less loud than before. Ziva glance went to McGee's eyes and then to Tony's. The three of them had the same expression on their faces; they felt guilty, maybe a bit mad but they also felt the need to fix this. It was all their fault or at least it felt like it. She found the courage to answer to Abby's question with her eyes still on Tony. "A lot of things changed, Abby. We did not manage them as we should have but it does not change the fact that things are different."

"Well, work it out!" She was more calm now, she even let Ziva's hand finally reach her shoulder. "I want my family back, I need you to be the way you were before or whatever we do to help Gibbs isn't going to work out."

"To help Gibbs? What do you mean?" Tony tilted his head to his right and he frowned. Jimmy stood up and made Tim do the same in order to get closer to where Abby was. Ducky also moved his chair next to the bed and once he was done he approached Tony and patted his back. "If you had given us a minute to explain instead of yelling you would probably know by now, Anthony."

"We needed some explanation before, Ducky." Ziva interrupted. Tony nodded at her words and Ducky asked them to move to join the rest. At the same time, Abby got some files out of her backpack. Tim immediately tried to reach one of the documents but Abby hit his hand at the attempt. "McGee!"

Tim, Abby and Jimmy were on the bed with the files in front of them. Ducky was still sitting on the chair and Tony and Ziva were kneeling by the bed with their hands away from the records. It wasn't much, though. Just a couple of yellow folders sitting on the bed, one with a paper clip attached (Tony made the observation; maybe Ziva would be interested in that part). They were all quiet and Abby waited some minutes before telling them the few things she knew.

As far as she knew, this whole thing had a lot to do with Captain Wayne. When Abby finally gave them access to the files, McGee was quick and he took the most important one. Tony and Ziva were left with Wayne's expedient. According to what she had heard, Gibbs was in a very secret special mission for JSOC and she had managed to find the document related to it. McGee read the words "top priority" out loud and with a small bit of sarcasm in his voice as he finished reading the rest of the file.

It was more than obvious that Vance knew about this and chances were that Chegwidden did too. That was all Abby knew and, after four months of nothing, they were really thankful for any kind of good information. Tony's phone rang one, two, three times until he couldn't ignore it anymore and he stepped outside to answer. Ziva rolled her eyes but didn't interrupt the conversation she was having with Ducky about Wayne. They couldn't know how dangerous that famous mission was and, even though Gibbs was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, they couldn't help but worry.

They kept arguing the possible scenarios and nobody really noticed Tony stepping back inside after what must have been less than two minutes. The things they were saying were nothing more than "what ifs" and it didn't take long until they felt like they had nothing again. Both files were on the bed and this time no one made any attempt to reach them. Ziva realized Tony's shoulder had been rubbing her own for quite a while now and she looked at him. His face was pale and his eyes were lost somewhere.

"What is it with you?" Needless to say, a quiet Tony was not a normal Tony. As soon as Ziva spoke up, the rest of the team took their sight to the man who looked like he had seen a ghost. Tony kept blinking slowly but he was able to meet Ziva's gaze. He raised his hand holding the phone and he placed it on the bed next to the folders.

"He wants to see us." Tony never stopped looking at Ziva, his eyes showing an unmistakable sign of confusion and shock. Slowly, he moved his gaze to Tim but it wasn't long until he found Ziva's eyes again. For Abby, Ducky and Jimmy it was clear that whatever he meant with the word "us" it didn't involve them. Ziva narrowed her eyes and she held his gaze until the point where it almost felt like it was just the two of them in the room. She waited for the right moment, for the right look on his eyes to ask, "Who wants to see us?"

"Gibbs."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** I am so so sorry guys but I promise you I won't do it again. I'll update again on thursday, I'm working hard to get this story moving but then the promo happened and I got incredibly distracted. Thank you so much for reading and, as always, feedback is very much appreciated.

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**Chapter 12, Army Of Me.**

"Are you sure it was him?"

During the forty-five minutes they were driving outside town, Tim had asked the same question eleven times (Ziva was keeping the count). It was almost midnight when the three of them left their co-workers in the hotel room to meet Gibbs. It wasn't easy for Tony to explain Gibbs had told him to meet him with McGee and Ziva only and Abby didn't take it well. After a few minutes of discussion, things went a little back to normal and they were able to leave without their friends being mad. Since Tim was the only one with a car at the moment, he was the man in charge. That, of course, besides of Tony who was the one with the information. They drove to the same cabin where they had been just four months ago but this time it was an hour past midnight and, well, let's just say neither of them were looking forward visiting the woods in the dark.

"Yes, for the millionth time, yes!" They had reached their destination and Tony slammed the car's door (hard) as he got out and answered Tim's question. "Who else would've brought us here, to Gibbs' cabin, in the middle of the night?!"

"Um, I don't know. Someone who is trying to kill us, perhaps?"

"Come on McParanoid! It's just the woods."

As expected, Gibb's cabin was exactly the way it was four months ago. That meant there was still no electricity, no furniture, no food, nothing. It didn't take them long to find their way in and once they were inside, things got even more creepy. They were in absolute darkness inside a very cold cabin and with nothing but trees around them. Ziva used her phone to enlighten the room and Tony copied her moves. They found a new candle which Ziva was sure she had seen the day they were there. They also found the grill where Gibbs had cooked that day right in the same place, it was clear nobody had been there ever since. Not even Gibbs.

"Tony, are you really sure it was him?"

McGee was still by the door, half of his body out and half inside the cabin. He kept looking at his car, the surroundings of the place and the trees (which was the same, but still) trying to find any clue that would tell him why on earth were they there. Tim wasn't even finished with his question when Tony turned his body towards him and tensed. Ziva, who was right next to him, felt the sudden change and grabbed his arm before answering for him. "I am sure it was him, McGee. Give it time and please stop talking."

Ziva let go of his arm and sat on the floor with her back against one of the wooden walls. Tony followed her with his eyes and when she looked up to him, she tilted her head in an attempt to ask him to join her. He was pretty sure they were still in bad terms but if she wasn't going to bring it up he wouldn't do it either. He sat next to her, a few inches separating their shoulders. The cabin itself was pretty much a freezer and having their backs against that wall was only making things worse but neither of them seemed to give it a thought. Tim was still by the door, facing his friends and aggressively turning his head with every little noise he heard outside. A night in the woods was a bad situation by itself but a night in the woods clueless, hungry, with Tony and Ziva and their problems was even worse. They were there for Gibbs, he kept telling himself. They were there for Gibbs.

Ultimately, Tim gave up and he stepped inside the cabin, closing the door behind him. It was until then when he realized neither of them had turned on the candle but after he asked out loud for a match and received no response he dropped the subject and he sat in the opposite wall, facing his partners. Minutes kept passing by and Tony calculated it could be almost three in the morning now. McGee wasn't talking which meant he was either passed out because of the coldness or sleeping. For everyone's sake, Tony went for his second option. Ziva had her head resting on his shoulder and unconsciously, he had placed his head on top of hers.

"He will come," He breathed to himself. "He told me he would meet us here tonight, didn't say at what time but he will come."

"Yes." Ziva sounded sleepy but even if Tony was just trying to calm himself, he was glad he wasn't the only one awake there. What was happening? Just a few hours ago they were in a hotel room unable to stand next to each other and now he had her right by his side. Maybe the circumstances had a lot to do with it but past experiences had showed him that was just the way they worked. They could be mad at each other and still be the team they always were. Even if she hated him or he was pissed at her, at the end of the day they were still there for the other. He couldn't afford to lose that, he never let his mind think about the subject but now that it had happened there was no turning back. Some years ago he told her he couldn't live without her and now, now it wasn't any different.

"Ziva?" He paused to see if he got any answer and when he felt her nodding against his shoulder, he kept going. "I can't keep doing this, you know?"

"I know." For a minute that was all she said. She didn't move, she didn't sigh, nothing. Finally, she lifted her head and she faced him but she still didn't look like she was going to speak any time soon. She was just… observing. They had been apart for a long time now and apparently he wasn't the only one wondering what was going on between them.

"I really don't want us to be mad at each other."

"I know."

Why was she being so quiet all of a sudden? Her short answers were driving him crazy and the fact that she kept studying his facial structure wasn't making things any easier. In response, he started doing the exact same thing. He took his eyes away from her own to look at her nose, her forehead, her ears, her chin, her lips... and yes, that had been a very bad idea. After all this time, he almost forgot about the way her lips curved when she was focused on something. He almost forgot about the power those eyes of hers had on him and, God, it was taking him every bit of self control in his body to keep himself from cupping her face and kiss her right there.

"I guess I overreacted," Ziva made him forget his thoughts and go back to reality. "I should have supported you and I did the opposite."

She was whispering. Maybe having that conversation in the middle of a crisis, inside Gibb's cabin and with McGee sleeping in front of them wasn't the most appropriate choice but it worked for them, bizarre situations were never a problem. Tony must have felt incredibly brave tonight because shortly after she finished her sentence, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Ziva's ponytail was a bit messed up after all these hours which made Tony's mind go back to that day in the elevator. Oh, the good times.

"I was kind of a jerk too… Y'know, it's very hard to read you."

The way she rolled her eyes was his answer.

It didn't take them long to go back to their previous position. Ziva's head found its way back on Tony's shoulder and this time, she fell asleep. He could barely keep his eyes open but, hey, somebody had to look after his team. Good thing Tim didn't snore, though. He had enough with the loud ninja with emphysema snoring right by his left ear. By now, Tony had no idea what time it was. It was still dark and cold so it could be around four or five but there was no sign of Gibbs. He had told him he'd meet them there on the phone and he sounded pretty convincing, there was no way the boss man would just leave them there.

It was almost as if Tony had invoked him because just when his brain was formulating a hundred and seven theories of why Gibbs wasn't there, the cabin's door cracked open. It was a man but he wasn't so sure if it was his boss yet. Tony's hand automatically went to his hip in a failed attempt to search for his gun.

"You gonna shoot me, DiNozzo?"

Oh, so it was Gibbs after all.

"Boss," He used his free hand to wake Ziva up since his other hand was casually against her lower back. At the opposite side of the room, he noticed Tim was starting to wake up too. "You're here… we were worried"

"Needed to take care of something first," As soon as Tim and Ziva realized what was going on, the first thing they did was panic. Tony stood up and the other two followed his lead until the three of them were right in front of Gibbs. It was like a déjà vu, although this time it was them the ones who had no idea what Gibbs had under his sleeve or, more precisely, inside the backpack he was carrying.

"Here," He handed Tony the bag and his partners' eyes showed the confusion they were all feeling. Gibbs' eyes never left Tony's. "In case you missed your early mornings."

Ziva was quick to take the bag from Tony's hand and Tony grunted as she opened it. His surprise at Ziva faded once the three of them saw what was inside the bag and McGee had to take one of them out to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Those were their NCIS badges and their guns (hopefully not loaded, Tony thought). Ziva was the second one to grab her badge as she gave Gibbs a questioning look that was kind of answered with another look. Finally, Tony grabbed his belongings and handed the guns to his co-workers.

"What is this?" She was the one to break the _very_ uncomfortable and confusing silence.

"You all start tomorrow," Gibbs headed to the door as he answered. Outside, there could be seen lights coming from a car that Tim was pretty sure wasn't there when Gibbs arrived. Neither of them made any attempt to move. They were too shocked, maybe. Before leaving completely Gibbs added, "Get some sleep while you still can."

And that was it, next thing they know the car (driven by someone who was obviously not their boss) moved and he disappeared. Although this time it felt like they would most likely see him again, everyday… because apparently they had their jobs back now. Everything had happened so fast. They waited for him for hours and he just made his appearance, changed the course of their lives and left. He truly was a man of a few words.

"And… now?" McGee looked at his friends expectantly but soon he understood none of them had a clue of what had just happened. Ziva was still staring at the spot where Gibbs was just a few minutes ago and Tony bent to grab the bag where their belongings were carried. He grabbed Ziva's arm and took a few steps to the door.

"Now, you drive us home Timmy. We have to be in the office in about twenty-eight hours."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Thank you for sharing your points of view in the reviews, I really like knowing what you all think. I know we're all shaken up because the premiere is coming and the inevitable is happening but, in my opinion, hope dies last. Thank you for reading!

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**Chapter 13, Back On The Map.**

It was one thing the one she knew for sure, none of them had got any sleep at all.

It was a quarter before seven and she was the first to arrive. Stepping out of that elevator seemed so odd now and staring at an empty bullpen didn't make things any easier. She was carrying a medium sized box filled with her personal things and when she reached her desk she hesitated for a moment. She had her badge, she had her gun, she had her desk, she had her job back but something just didn't fit. She left the box on the desk, _her_ desk, and sat on the chair behind it. She didn't feel like unpacking just yet so she rested her neck on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. Somebody had to think this through and Ziva was sure neither Tony nor McGee would take the risk.

Her first issue was Gibbs. He was acting as if only a weekend had passed since the last time he saw them, as if this whole thing had only been a nice vacation for the three of them. Yes, he must have his reasons to keep it all private but a little explanation would've left her a bit more peaceful. Ziva had always had this special bond with Gibbs. She knew, she understood, she had been on his place too but it wasn't enough to forget these past four months. They spent their days worrying about him, wondering about his location and his safety to just let it go like that.

Anyway, the next thing on her brain was the job. How, after all this time, they got their jobs back without any kind of warning or ultimatum? She tried to stay positive by thinking they would be back but in her brain, things would've been completely different. Or at least normal since the way they were asked to return wasn't exactly protocol. She was expecting a long meeting with the high Navy directors, new tough and unbreakable rules and all kinds of warnings. Instead, she got a long night in a cold cabin and two minutes with her boss.

Issue number three was the team. During this period of time their bond weakened and things were not exactly in the best place for them. At this point, she wasn't just talking about Tony and herself. Two days ago, in the hotel, it was obvious that everyone held some kind of tension towards the others and she wondered how long it would take for them to go back to the team they were. One time, about three months ago, Tim told Ziva his worries. She was remembering this now because back then he told her about his doubts and questions on the word "normal". Nothing was normal back then, nothing was normal now and it seemed that everything would be abnormal for a very long time.

"Ziva!"

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard her name being said _that_ loud. Her eyes went immediately to the desk in front of her where Tony was leaning.

"What is the matter with you, DiNozzo!" She had to move the box in front of her to have a better sight at his partner. He was pretty much done with his desk, it already looked like he had never cleaned it. She turned her head and saw McGee, too. He was somewhat slower but he was trying to find a specific spot for each one of his belongings. Her eyes went back to Tony and he raised a brow at her, "I'm not the one who fell asleep on his first day."

"I was not asleep," She was quick to answer. "I was… thinking."

"Oh yeah? Thinking about what?"

"Nothing."

McGee chuckled and they both turned their heads to him. He was giving them his back as he got all his pens and notebooks in order and when he was finally done, he sat on his chair and met their not-so-happy gazes. God, how he missed his job. He missed the bullpen, he missed his computer, he missed the _ding _of the elevator and, hey, for a good five seconds he even missed his co-workers bothering him. He was in quite a great mood this morning and it showed, it was creeping them out.

"We're back." He leaned on his chair and looked at Tony, he responded him with a weird look that Ziva joined. "We're actually back."

"Are we?" Tony's confused look was towards the ninja in front of him now. Ziva managed pop a hole in McGee's perfect bubble and he looked attentively at her. She made a sign with her hand asking them to get closer and so they did. After looking to her sides, to the stairs, to the offices and to the elevator multiple times she decided the coast was clear and she kept talking. "This is all too sudden, too rushed. Gibbs did not say a word about what happened during the past four months and he certainly did not care to tell us how he got our jobs back."

"Since when do we try to understand Gibbs' actions?" Tony interrupted. "He gets stuff done like this all the time, Ziva. You know that, the Navy knows that, we all know that."

"But this is different! We always know something, as irrelevant as it seems but this is the first time he left us with nothing."

The elevator made its distinctive noise and Tony and McGee rushed to their respective desks starting an improvised talk about the weather. Ziva dragged the box to her and started unpacking, her fully attention on the items in front of her. Once the estimated time that takes the path from the elevator to their desks passed, Ziva looked through the corner of her eye looking for any sign of their boss. Tim was typing on his still off computer and Tony had his head under his desk pretending to look for "a paperclip he just dropped". She looked around the bullpen and when Tim's eyes looked up to her she asked him to come back, Tony followed.

"Look, the man has his reasons and we really need to stop discussing this in the office, I don't want to be welcomed with a head slap."

McGee narrowed his eyes at his comment.

"Maybe he'll talk to us soon," Ziva gave him an appreciative look, she didn't have an idea of how much she missed McGee's right words on right times. "Maybe he needs time or maybe he just needs us here and doesn't think he has to have a reason for it."

"You're getting emotional McCheesy. I bet a song is abo—"

Just in the right time, Ziva interrupted what seemed to be a sarcastic comment from the man with the stubbly chin kneeling in front of her desk. "It cannot be as bad as Mexico, right?"

"Oh no, nothing tops Mexico on that."

"On what, DiNozzo?"

Both men stood up at the speed of light when Gibbs entered the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He didn't come out of the elevator, they were absolutely sure of that. Ziva went back to business as she pretended being looking for something deep down on her box. Tony stood awkwardly in front of him mumbling unclearly and nervously laughing as McGee walked his way back to his desk carefully avoiding his boss' look.

"Hum… tacos!" Tony approached Gibb's desk as he left his coffee down and explored the first drawer. "I ate some last night and they were not as good as the ones I had there. Not even close. We should go there sometime, you know? _El jefe y sus amigos, _it even sounds like a movie title."

Ziva and McGee exchanged looks, they were already feeling the back of their heads warm in empathy towards him. Gibbs had his eyes on his drawer and Tony saw Ziva twisting her mouth. He had his back to his good old Timmy but he was sure he was making a face as well, hell, he was convinced even his own face was doing weird things as he spoke. "I mean, only if you want… We already had some free time. We could've gone there for some real tacos already, guess we missed our chance."

"Yeah." Short and clear, in case he missed Gibbs' answers. After a few more seconds of fighting with the drawer he seemed to find what he was looking for and he closed it abruptly. "We got work to do, come on."

"Where to, boss?" McGee found the courage to ask. It was work related, there was no way to go wrong in that.

"Dead marine inside the Bluebird bar," The mysterious object that took so long to be found was Gibbs' gun. He set it on place, grabbed his goat and took his coffee as he stood in front of his own desk, facing Tony. "It's downtown, try not to stop for tacos for lunch."

And then he felt it, the welcome head slap.

Ziva couldn't help the smirk that showed up on her face and Tim had no choice but to join her. Gibbs passed them by and that was when Ziva finally let out a quiet laugh. Tony turned his head to see her but she bent for her bag before he could meet her eyes. Tim walked to Ziva's desk but Tony was still frozen in the spot. It was not fair, he always got caught. As the elevator warned its arrival, McGee rushed into it and Ziva grabbed Tony's gear before he even reached his desk. They shared a forced (but pleased) smile before she handed the bag to him and walked, in sync, to join their team.

Oh yes, it was good to be back.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**: I'm fairly in the community so I still don't know how to answer to reviews but don't worry, Tony is getting his happiness and we're gonna see more T/Z moments (I mean... hopefully, I still need to write them). I can't believe the premiere is in 15 days and with that being said, I wish you all a great week. Thank you for reading!

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**Chapter 14, Big Bad World.**

For the first time in a very long time, Tony was loving the extra work he had had to take home from the office. He wasn't thinking about the long night ahead of him or the extra creativity that had to come out of him in order to fill all these report cards, no. He was thinking about the thrill of being back where he belonged, he was thinking about the cases they've had so far, he was thinking about the race from Abby's lab to the bullpen when the elevator was taken and Gibbs was impatient, all those things that made him extremely happy.

But not even the best case was able to steal the first place. The thing he appreciated the most about his job, the people he would never be able to lose: his team.

It was a routine that didn't bother him at all. He was still trying to get a car so he (after a long and childish discussion) McGee ended up as his _temporary driver._ They always saw Ziva's convertible in the parking lot when they arrived and sometimes, when she was in a good mode, they would find a cup of coffee waiting for them in their desks. That only happened the first week, though.

Then, during busy days, the car rides where the best. He was finally able to drive a car and play on the radio the songs _he_ liked. Taking pictures, collecting evidence, talking to the witnesses and occasional confrontations were the fun part. Back in the office and during the following days came the exhausting part; doing background of every single person the victim knew, talking to the family, talking to friends (and unknown enemies), discovering the unknown enemy and taking him/her down. It was like the fun part…. but harder.

And finally, the reward part.

When the family's got some closure, the criminal is in jail and everything is clear they are finally able to lean back on their chairs and take a long and deep breath. Those are usually the days when they go out and they did… only the first week but they did. The rest of the nice, after-case nights were pretty quiet.

Jimmy liked to go home to Breena (but hey, who wouldn't want that) as soon as they were done for the day. Ducky and Gibbs seemed to be having their private reunions in Gibbs' basement and no one was able to argue against. McGee would go out with Delilah and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't somewhat jealous, that girl was taking Probie's whole attention. Abby was still trying to make up for the years she spent without his biological brother so he wouldn't stand in the middle of their family bonds. The only one who usually stayed in her desk long enough for him to ask her to go out with him was Ziva but Tony was pretty sure that was not something he was supposed to do, not when they still had some issues to figure out.

So he got used to it, the reward part of his job was now celebrated in his apartment with extra work, a movie, takeout and his girlfriend.

"More work?" Kacey was behind him, standing against his bedroom's doorframe. She was frowning, obviously bothered by the sign of folders and sheets all over the coffee table. Tony just mumbled "Hmmm."

"I thought we could maybe go out tonight," She walked to him and wrapped across his chest, the other one resting on his shoulder. He lifted his head at the first touch, smiling for a moment before taking his full attention back to the report in front of him. "But I guess it will have to be another night."

"Hmm," He muttered again and Kacey sighed. Her touch left him in one sudden move and he looked up again, not being able to see her until she walked and stood right in front of him.

"Are you gonna talk to me or I'm gonna have to wait another night for that too?"

"Hey, hey, come on!" Tony reached his hand to her but hers remained at her sides. He waited but when she raised a brow at him, he saw he had no chance. "I'm sorry, really. I tell you what, let me just finish this and we'll go out, I promise."

"No Tony, I don't want you to do this just because I'm mad," _Who the hell understands women? Jesus_. He hoped his face wasn't showing what his brain was thinking but just to be safe, he deleted that thought as soon as he could.

"I'm not, ok?" She gave him a look, by now she had her arms crossed. He gulped; apparently he was not getting out of this one that easily. "Look, babe, it's my job and I have to do it… I like doing it. I don't see why you get so mad at this."

Kacey lifted a few sheets from the table to place them aside so she could sit in front of him, "I am not… mad, Tony. It's just that we never go out anymore an—"

"I've had a lot of work to do."

"You don't seem to have a lot of work to do when your friends are the one asking you out."

He rolled his eyes and laughed, probably not the smartest choice. "Not fair."

"That's just how it is," She stood up to sit in a chair across the room, in the dinner table. "Tim, Abby or anyone can just call you and you'll be ready to go in minutes. Oh! But don't let Ziva be the one calling because you'll run like lighting to her."

"What?" He threw the paper on his hands to the table. "What does Ziva even has to do in all this?"

By now he was just playing it cool, really. He knew Ziva would be a conversation topic eventually but that didn't mean he was less uncomfortable with it now. He prayed that she wouldn't ask the right questions because if she did, he'd be lost. Tony was generally a good liar (especially when it was something that involved McGee) but when it was about Ziva he wasn't able to put on a good show. He couldn't lie to her, he couldn't lie about her and he couldn't let someone lie about her either, she didn't deserve it.

"Seems to me that in everything!" He noticed something about her; she couldn't stand still while arguing. "I only tried to ask about your relationship with her once and you started rambling and ended up changing the subject, it's more than obvious that there's more to the story."

"We've been a team for eight years! What do you expect? I care about her, she's my friend" After a couple of seconds he felt the need to add, "just like everyone else."

"You know it's different."

And it was, it is but it wasn't the time to get into a deep conversation with himself and decided what course his life would take. Denying it was the best for now.

"I still don't see why we're discussing about this."

"Tony." She kept her mouth open, it looked like she was about to say something else but then she closed it. She closed it and looked down for a moment before sitting on the opposite side of the couch where Tony was. She was still quiet, her eyes wandering the room and Tony almost moved to grab her hand but he stood still. "Kacey."

"You still have feelings for her," It wasn't a question, it was more like a statement. Tony didn't bother to ask why she was saying "still" as if they had been in a relationship, it wasn't worth it. Instead, he looked down. He knew that would give her an answer, maybe not the most accurate one but an answer that would change things between them.

Kacey stood up once again and she walked behind the couch, stopping for a second before walking again to the table by the door to grab her purse. Tony felt her steps, he felt her moving towards the door but somehow he couldn't move, it would probably just make it worse.

"I think you need to figure out what you feel for her before attempting to move on."

During the middle of her words, he stood up to face her.

"What does that mean?"

She held his gaze as an answer and then she turned her back to him and opened the door. She took a step out and then turned again, their eyes met instantly. It was not possible, Tony thought, things were working out so well. She was a nice girl and he made her happy, _she _made him happy too. There was always that little something, that thing his heart did whenever he saw Ziva walking in the bullpen or being next to him in the interrogation room but he thought he was handling it well. He always knew the Ziva talk would come but he wished he would've been able to skip the consequences.

"I can't do this right now, I'm sorry."

He had the feeling those would be the last words he'd hear from her in a long time.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** _Ohh, how I love to write McGee's POV_. Not gonna make you wait that long, I promise. Thank you so much for reading, as always!

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**Chapter 15, Faith to Fall Back On**

The first two weeks of working together were not as uncomfortable or awkward as Tim thought they would be. It was funny, he noticed (and Abby pointed out), how everyone had some kind of resentment towards the other outside of the job but while they were working, everything was just the way it was at the beginning of the year. It was a matter of professionalism, sure, but it was also a matter of family. Regular families always have their good, their bad and their worst days but that didn't break the bonds and that was exactly what they had, a very strong bond.

A bond that got very weak at times, though. It was when he got to work one morning and his calendar let him know that he had been re-using her desk for a month and four days now that he started to analyze it. As a writer, he needed to fully understand the events around him in order to keep his story going and slow days were absolutely perfect for that. Tim looked up to see Gibb's desk empty and he frowned but that was, of course, until he remembered how he stepped into the bullpen with coffee in hand and said he would be down in autopsy with Ducky. Once he made sure he was in conditions to start his work, he opened a file in his computer where he had all kinds of ideas that got inside his brain that he could maybe use in the future. He had quotes, words, sentences without finishing but he also kept a secret record of his co-workers that needed to stay just like that, in secret. Otherwise he would find himself joining the boss man and Ducky down there in the autopsy room in not a very pleasant condition.

Abby (or _Amy Sutton_, as it was written on the document) was the first one to show up. He had written about her apparent problem with Delilah and how they stopped talking to each other for almost an entire month. He wrote about her sudden change of mood and her warm embrace when she found out he was coming back to the agency. A special emphasis was made to the letter he found on his desk after he came back from a crime scene a week after they got back that said "To: Timmy From: Abby" in big, creative letters and a short but clear text that said "I'm sorry" and invited him to an apologize dinner. Everything went great from there, they got back to their friendly mood and now he had one less thing to be stressed about. Abby was back or at least, _his_ Abby was right there again.

He scrolled down the pages and got to where he really wanted to deepen, the Tommy and Lisa section. Tim laughed and that was when he remembered he was at work and not at his apartment, Ziva looked up from the notebook she was writing on and smiled at him but Tony didn't seem to notice. As he tried to play it off cool by sipping his coffee, he thought about what a cliché he was creating. A criminal, suspense story was being blown away by a subtle and burning love story. It always happened that way, no matter how good or interesting the main plot of your book was. If you had two characters with chemistry, _boom, _you found your new priority.

Days like this took him back to when he was writing his very first book. All the secrets, mysterious moves and (every now and then) little lies were a fundamental part of his other life. Tim took his attention away from the computer and dedicated a good ten minutes to subtly watch his partners' actions. Tony had a magazine in his hands but his attention was on a clip of a movie playing on his computer. Ziva was writing something on a notebook that he, at first, thought was related to a case but when he asked and she said it was a "personal distraction" he left her alone. He cared about what they did individually, yes, but he was more interested in them as an unity.

When Ziva was busy writing whatever she was writing on that notebook, Tony's eyes would find her immediately and look away the second she stopped writing. Then she'd look up to him while he was staring (not even pretending to read) his magazine. It was a game that went on and on all day, every day and they both were very aware of it. The way they pretended nothing happened was something different, something he was used to since it was typical coming from them.

Those ten minutes didn't give him much and that was when it hit him. They both had changed (a lot) with the years but the Tony and Ziva they were a year ago were not even a tiny bit different from the Tony and Ziva they were today. They could be mad, disappointed, hurt at the other but they would always find their way back to their normal state. It was very clear for him (but apparently not to Tony) how he started to talk less about Kacey when they got back to NCIS.

He saw her at least twice every week but if any kind of plan or job that involved Ziva's presence came out, he would call her and say he was busy and he'd see her another time. Tim wasn't sure but he believed that their routine in the office was impossible to destroy. Ziva has always been playful, Tony has always liked to tease and it didn't really matter how their lives outside the agency were as long as their wires remained connected.

"That better not be another book about all this, McGee." Gibbs said as he walked to his desk and Tim jumped, rushing to close the document displayed on his monitor. He looked at Tony and then at Ziva, they both were staring right back at him.

"It better not be another book _at all," _Ziva was the first to speak up and Tony chuckled in agreement. "You know what happened the last time you were writi—"

"I know, I know. Ink ribbons, crazy fans, team in danger and all that." Tim looked at the desk in front of him and Gibbs raised a brow before returning his attention to his computer. He kept talking in his direction either way, "It happened once, come on! No need to remind me about it every chance you get, I'm being careful this time."

"So that means you are writing about us, aren't you?" Tony left his desk as he talked and Ziva followed. Anticipating their moves, he removed the usb driver where he kept all his book-related stuff and when they surrounded him, the fight for the little but powerful item beginning.

Gibbs sighed, he almost forgot the way _his kids_ behave when they had nothing to do.

"Enough," The three of them stopped right where they were to look at their boss. Tony had his palm on Tim's face and Ziva was grabbing his hands, McGee was fighting as best as he could to keep the usb away from them. After a while, they separated and each of them went back to their respective desks. "You," he pointed at Tim, "Duck could use some help with some mixed files he has since Palmer didn't show up today, go."

He left, not without sending some loud looks to his co-workers of course. Tony laughed and Ziva smiled as she rolled her eyes. He was about to say something when his boss' voice filled the room again.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs stood up and grabbed his phone. "Go down to Abby's lab and help her with the inventory. You're with me today, Ziver. Let's go."

"Go?" She left her desk and Tony joined her. "Where? We do not have a case today."

"I don't want you three fighting all day and I can't send you home so we're organizing files and finishing up reports, come on."

Gibbs passed them by and after Tony wished her to "have fun", he set out to leave and join Abby in his special mission but Ziva grabbed his arm before he could start walking. "Wait, Tony. I… I was thinking..."

"What?" He released the tension coming from his arm and she let go. The words were stuck in her throat and the fact that the elevator had arrived and Gibbs was now waiting for her didn't make it any easier. Tony pushed, "Ziva, what is it?"

"You wanna have dinner tonight?" She turned her head to see Gibbs, it was better to stare at her impatient boss than at the confused man in front of her. "I mean… um, to talk. I'd like to talk to you and the office is not exactly the best place to do so."

"Let's go!" Gibbs voice shook Tony off his trance and as Ziva grabbed her phone and left him standing in front of their desks by his own, she went on. "Just let me know, it's nothing fancy… just a small dinner in my apartment, text me, alright?"

She was thankful for Gibbs grabbing her arm and pulling her inside the elevator before Tony could give her an answer. They were standing side by side and just when she was about to make a comment about the scene that happened before his eyes, her phone vibrated. It was text from Tony saying he'd stop by at eight and she felt a rush of relief going through her body. Her muscles relaxed as she held her personal smart phone in between her hands and she finally breathed normally again. She was so disconnected from everything that when she felt a sour head slap coming from her boss, she flinched a little bit more than she should have.

"Rule forty-five, kid."

Ziva, who still had her mouth open and her hand on the back of her head, smiled at her boss' observation. _Rule #45; Left mess, clean it. _It had taken her a while to memorize all those unspoken rules but she was grateful to know them, they could be very useful. With a bunch of documents and yellow folders ahead, she sighed. It would be an afternoon to do a lot of thinking, to create a mental script for the thing she'd say tonight. She wasn't sure of the course things would take, all she knew was she wanted to talk and let it all out. She was looking for one more _post-elevator_ moment (if that was still a thing) or something, anything that would let her know where they stood. She took a seat in front of Gibbs and started digging through the files, taking a couple of seconds to answer his question before she forgot.

"I'm trying to, Gibbs."

And tonight could be it, tonight was her only shot.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**: I had a mini heart attack when FF wouldn't let me login. I didn't plan on this chapter's cliffhanger, I swear. It just kind of happened. As always, thank you for reading!

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**Chapter 16, Ashes Like Snow.**

A day without someone dying, someone disappearing, a bomb exploding or something going the wrong way didn't mean they had it easy. Having no case often meant more work, the kind of work Tony was sure they all hated; archive, program, organize, _blablabla,_ not even being with Abby took away the tediousness of the acts.

He was alone at the moment, though. With still half _Caf-Pow!_ left, the scientist was more than pumped and was ready to get more boring work done. It was more like a ritual, she claimed. Every time they had slow days she would get hers done early and a case would pop up. According to her, it worked every time so now his hopes were all on her.

Little did she know that leaving him alone for more than five minutes was a crucial mistake.

"Alright that's it," Tony dropped the folder he had in his hands when Abby came back with another huge box of varied elements. Maybe that had been a little exciting when they started but by now, he already knew forgotten evidence was nothing worth dying for. "No more of that, no. When I said I wanted my job back I didn't mean _this_ side of the job."

Abby gave him a look as she dropped the box next to the other ones and walked to her chair to examine the energy drink in front of her partner. Maybe he had taken a sip of it and, considering how much he hated "that thing" she drank, it would help her explain his sudden bad mood. Once the inspection was done and everything was still the way she left it she went for the Plan A 2.0, either she would cheer him up or get to the bottom of his thoughts.

"It's just one more box, Tony. We can do it!"

"No Abby, no more. I can hardly keep my head muted and I'm sure one more box will be the end of me." He looked at his phone to re-read the text he had sent to Ziva for the twentieth time in the past two hours – _Free food? Sold. I'll be around at 8, I get the beer?_ – and check Ziva's (late) reply to see if, this time, he could spot any new thing – _Yes. Cannot text, Gibbs is watching. I'll see you later._ – but he had no luck. The texts still said the same and no hidden words were showing, he was probably starting to lose his mind.

"It's six thirty, don't tell me you want to leave already!" Abby was aware of Tony's date (or meeting since he wouldn't call it a date) and that was partially the reason why she was trying to go easy on him but some things just overwhelmed her. "Ziva must be up there with Gibbs with no chances of leaving early, what are you even gonna do until eight?"

"I'm in charge of the beer." He said convinced and she shot him a look. Yeah, that would only take him from five to ten minutes. "And I could change clothes, watch a movie… y'know, for the nerves. I can take a cab earlier… yes, the cab! Abby, I don't have a car. I need to take my time to get there, you know public transportation is not so very efficient."

"Tony." He could have gone on and on, she knew that. "You won't stop until I let you leave, right?"

"Oh yeah"

"Fine," Abby sighed, Tony's eyes lit up. "Go… but you'll have to tell me everything on Monday!"

He was already gone when she finished her sentence.

It was eight fifteen and he was sitting on the floor, his back against her door. He had got there at seven forty after walking around his apartment for way too long. He was sure she'd be home by then but destiny had set him up. _Alright_, he thought, _maybe she went out to buy somethin' real quick. She has to be here at eight… it's pure logic. _

Well, apparently it wasn't.

Tony tried to call her but she wasn't picking up. He thought about calling Gibbs but his brain was fast to catch up and he decided it was a bad idea. His gut told him something was… not so very normal when he had to stop in two stores before finding the brand of beer Ziva liked in the third one. When he arrived and didn't spot her car anywhere, his feelings slowly started to reaffirm. He considering breaking into her apartment for a moment but ended up not going with it. Instead, he sat down to wait, and wait, and wait until finally…

"Ah, damn it!" Ziva's hands were full carrying three plastic bags and, even though he was grateful for the cursing in English, he didn't fully smile until he heard her doing it in her mother language. She was looking for her keys but the overloads on her hands were making it an impossible task. When he stood up and reached for a bag to help her, she almost let the rest fall to grab the gun she still had on her belt. "Tony! Where… where were you?"

"Punctuality is important to me, Agent David." He teased, "If this is gonna keep happening, next time we'll go my place. You know what they say, time is gold."

"Shut up," When he noticed she was still unable to find her keys he took the rest of the bags from her. She gave him a thank you look as she kept looking and Tony was almost sure he heard her cursing in Hebrew again which made him laugh, he missed this kind of pissed-off Ziva. She spotted her keys and took them out of her bag in one sharp move as she returned to the conversation.

"Gibbs would not let me leave early. I think he wasn't very happy with this meeting, he gave me the "rule number forty-five" lecture."

"Uh-huh, never a good one."

"I know." They stepped inside her apartment and since now Tony was the one with his hands full, he merely waited until Ziva turned on the lights to move in the right direction. He took a few steps before stopping again to wait until Ziva was back from the bedroom. "What is this, anyway?"

"Do not laugh," She warned and he tightened his lips in response. "I had to stop in McDonalds for dinner since I apparently did not think this through and I ended up with no time at all to make something decent to eat."

Tony tried, he really tried but when a laugh escaped his lips he couldn't hold it inside anymore. He walked quickly through the living room until he reached the kitchen, laughing all the way. When he didn't hear her around, he thought he was safe. That was, of course, until he felt the hit of a cushion against the back of his head.

"Shup up, DiNozzo." It was the second time she had shut him up in under ten minutes and he almost pointed it out but when he felt her hand grabbing his upper arm, all thoughts were vanished. "I did not know what you like so I bought the most normal hamburgers they had."

"Well thanks." He grabbed his food and walked to the couch, searching for her eyes to get the agreement he needed. He knew Ziva wasn't a cleaning freak like Tim but still, he didn't want to end up being hit by something heavier than a cushion. He settled on a side of the couch (the one where the remote was, of course) and Ziva sat beside him. Tony turned the T.V on and skipped channel after channel, leaving the remote alone until he found a basketball game about to end.

"McDonals and basketball," Ziva turned her head to him, "It doesn't get any more American."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Wait." Leaving her food on the table in front of her, she bent to the side of the couch and the sound of a plastic bag made it impossible for him to listen the narrative of the game. Tony was about to protest when she straightened and handed him a can of coke. Tony chuckled, "Well, now we are complete!"

Ziva signed an "okay" and her attention went back to the game. She almost spit her drink when her brain took her to the night Tony talked to her. It was the perfect parallel, she hated that. Hated it almost as much as she hated knowing how powerless and nervous Tony felt that night, hated it almost as much as she hated regretting the way she behaved at first and hated it just like she hated having conversations about unnecessary things. This, for example, was an unnecessary thing. What was she going to say anyway? Hello, yes, I forgot how much in love I am with you while we were unemployed but hey, now I remember!

It was absolutely pointless but somehow, necessary.

She couldn't keep it inside any longer so she laughed, hard. She even felt Tony's little jump on the couch but she didn't care. Even if she was trying to stop, she kept laughing. Tony looked at her (most likely waiting to hear the joke) and smiled. It was cute for the first twenty seconds but then it got weird, it seemed like Ziva truly couldn't stop. By now she knew that was her nervous laugh, her _someone-make-a-phone-ring_ laugh and it didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Must be a very good joke, huh?"

_Oh, you have no idea._

Ziva was able to shut her lips before the thoughts of her brain became words and her laugh finally started to cease. His eyes were still on her and she breathed deeply before taking her sight symbolically to the T.V. "We should talk."

"Great idea," He knew what she wanted to talk about but it didn't mean he was going to stop teasing. "We can start with that funny thing you thought about, share it with the class Zee-vah."

She gave him her Mossad eyes, the goal being reached. "Really Tony. I can pretend this night never happened but I know it will keep bothering me until I get this out of me."

Tony held her gaze a little longer than necessary and then looked away to search for the remote. Ziva caught the hint and understood it was really going to happen and it was going to happen _now._ Once Tony turned off the T.V he placed the leftovers of his hamburger on the coffee table and lifted one leg to the couch, turning his torso so he could look directly at her. She had her hands intertwined in her lap but she quickly mirrored his position and sighed, taking a few seconds to organize her brain and let out the correct words, if possible.

"I… I know you are happy," A grin started to form on Tony's face but he quickly stopped it, Ziva didn't seem to notice. "And I know we already had a conversation like this and that we sort of worked it out but… "

"But?" His full attention was on her. This didn't seem like their old conversation in the woods, all understanding and nice, no. This seemed something else, something bigger. For Ziva to be chocking on her own words it had to be something that went beyond her limits and Tony would be lying if he said he didn't know what it was. He insisted, "Ziva."

"Tony, I…" She uttered, Tony's eyes softened at the memory that crossed his mind. She seemed to get lost in her words again and Tony searched for her hand, giving it a slow squeeze encouraging her to go on. "I am not alright with it."

When he narrowed his eyes and she gave air to her lungs, she let it all out.

"I know I said I was okay with it but I am not. I lost my chance and I know that, Tony but I can't afford seeing you with somebody else. I am glad you're happy but I just wished… _wished _I hadn't been so stubborn. I am being selfish and I am aware of that but I tried. I tried and I ignored it but I cannot keep doing it."

Tony had his eyes firmly on Ziva. As she spoke, his hand went back to his side of the couch and now he seemed like a sculpture. He didn't move, he didn't talk and she's pretty sure he didn't blink much either. She was breathing heavily; a good part of that heaviness was maybe the weight of her own words. Their gaze finally broke when she looked down to her lap and that was when she noticed how close he actually was. His body was rigid, his hands at his sides, his eyes still on her. She was waiting for a word, a sign, a move, any response at all would do but then—

She never, ever, saw any of that coming.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** The content of this chapter is... not explicit but it has references to intimate situations, in case you're not entirely comfortable with that. I was craving for some Tiva fluff, I'm sorry. I have a lot of things to say today but I'll write them at the end of this chapter. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love to write this but I'd be lying too if I said it didn't hurt. As always, thanks for being here.

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**Chapter 17, Write Your Name.**

Tony had his eyes firmly on Ziva. As she spoke, his hand went back to his side of the couch and now he seemed like a sculpture. He didn't move, he didn't talk and she's pretty sure he didn't blink much either. She was breathing heavily; a good part of that heaviness was maybe the weight of her own words. Their gaze finally broke when she looked down to her lap and that was when she noticed how close he actually was. His body was rigid, his hands at his sides, his eyes still on her. She was waiting for a word, a sign, a move, any response at all would do but then—

She never, ever, saw any of that coming.

The first thing she felt were his hands; one on her hip and the other making its way to the back of her neck, both gripping hard but tender. Next thing she was aware of were his eyes on her, that millisecond when their eyes connected before she gasped and lost herself into him. And finally,_ finally_, she felt the warmth of his lips crashing her own. So similar but so different from the kiss they'd shared so many years ago, back then was merely the need of letting some kind of repressed lust and today, today it felt like affection.

He didn't ask for her permission (he knew she wouldn't deny) so as soon as his lips lightly brushed hers and she let go of her breath, their lips found a perfectly harmonious sync to follow. Like I said, she never saw it coming. She never felt the movement of the couch, she never felt him leaning into her, she never felt anything that wasn't pure touch.

And touch was something she didn't know she was craving for.

It didn't start slow but they didn't rush into it either. When she reacted, her hand made its way slowly to the side of Tony's neck, caressing his skin and tracing patterns with her fingertips. Her other hand was placed on the back of his head, pulling him into her. Soon enough he was asking for entrance and she allowed, her skin shivering when his tongue ran into her own and started taking her in. Ziva didn't fight for dominance; she wanted to lose her senses, she didn't want to think at all. With her fingers tangled on his hair and his hands roaming her back she did just that, lost herself into him without a thought in her mind.

Eventually, they pulled apart. Their foreheads met and their eyes remained closed, it was a way to really make it last forever. Ziva's hands fell to his shoulders and his hands tightened on her waist. Tony smiled with the first clear thought that his mind came up with after their –unexpected- make out session; all suspicions were confirmed, they fit. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle he was willing to put together. His hands grasped her waist with no effort and her small hands felt perfect on the back of his neck. Their lips, oh boy, that was for sure his favorite piece of that puzzle.

"Wow," He couldn't come up with anything better and yet, that one word expressed everything he actually wanted to say. Ziva knew, of course she did. She had made it clear that she knew him in every possible way and this wasn't an exception, "I know."

Tony laughed nervously; he had imagined their first real kiss a lot more times than he was willing to admit and this wasn't far for the "In Ziva's couch at night after work" dream. They added a little more space between them, his fingers intertwining hers. Ziva kept looking down at their hands and Tony kept his eyes on her, expecting she would eventually look up.

"I can almost hear your thoughts, y'know?" She smiled briefly and finally allowed her eyes to look at him. His feet were on the ground and Ziva had one leg bent, their hands resting on her knee. After a couple of seconds she shifted closer to him.

"What was that for?"

"What? The kiss?" She nodded, he grinned from ear to ear. "Well that, Miss David, that was something I've kept myself from doing for a very long time."

Ziva laughed at the typical DiNozzo comment and he leaned in to kiss her cheek. Closing her eyes, she thought about how _right_ it felt. They had the world against them, they overcame every obstacle that tried to tear them apart but at the end of the day the only ones keeping them apart were themselves. Or maybe just her, she was carrying the blame on her shoulders anyway. Tony grabbed her hand with both of his hands now and that made her open her eyes again.

"I am serious," No matter how much she wanted, she couldn't just kiss him and forget their reality. He wasn't with her, at least not in the way she desperately needed him to be. "Tony, I am not asking you to drop what you've built for me. I just… I needed to tell you, that's all."

"Why are you making it sound like it's something I don't want?" She tilted her head and, by the look on her eyes, he could tell she was trying hard to keep it together. "Ziva, it's us we're talking about here. You really think I don't want to give it a try?"

"It is not like that."

He was confused by her words but when silence took over the room, everything started to make sense. Her eyes always gave her up, ever since he met her. That was the main reason why Ziva avoided his gaze when they were discussing something too personal. He didn't have the time to tell anyone about his recent fight with Kacey but due the circumstances, he decided it was better if she didn't know at all.

"She's always known," Ziva frowned and Tony quickly kept his story going. "Kacey, I mean. She's always known about you. I guess I never thought about it much but apparently she had a big problem with me talking about you every five minutes."

She remained quiet, Tony panicked. He felt the need to keep fixing his story so he laughed and talked again, this time with no filter in his mouth. "I even rambled about you during our first real date, you know? Well, no. I didn't actually ramble, I mean… she asked me about you and I shut my mouth for some good ten minutes thinking about you and—"

"Tony." A soft smile was on her face. She let go of his hands to pull herself up and flex both of her legs up on the couch, giving her back to the armrest and placing her chin in between her knees. He smiled at the view, even if she was too far from him for his liking she looked adorable. It was a side of her he'd never seen before, kind of a childish side Ziva would never show to anyone.

It seemed that anyone but him.

He shifted closer to her, already missing the warmth of her hands and the pure feeling of having her there. Tony shook his head and laughed when she gave him that "_Really, Tony?"_ look he was already used to.

"I'm kind of a big jerk, aren't I?"

"No," She untangled one of her hands from her ankles to caress his face; starting from his chin, moving to his cheek and finally reaching a lock of hair right behind his ear. "You are you and that can't be helped."

He smirked as he leaned to her touch. So delicate, so simple and yet, so addictive. "Well thank you! That really makes up for it, Ziva."

"I know." He rolled her eyes as soon as the words left her lips and he felt her fist against his shoulder. With another girl, he thought, that would've been cute and inoffensive but this was Ziva throwing the first punch. He complained in an under tone before grabbing her hand and pulling her into him, causing Ziva to let go a loud laugh.

It had been so long since he'd heard her laughing like that, so long since he'd seen her happy. He smiled at her with adoration and he could feel his eyes getting watery but before things took a melancholic, movie-like twist he locked his lips with hers once again. She stretched her legs above his lap and he wrapped an arm around her waist to drag her into him. Ziva placed a hand on his nape and her other arm went to his back, if Tony's goal was to keep the attention away from his inner emotional moments he was doing just that.

Soon enough, the couch didn't provide the room they now needed. Ziva was fully on top of him now, straddling him as Tony lost the first piece of clothing of the night. He didn't let her take the lead for too long so as soon as his shirt was gone, so was her own. He had this dream where, in another universe, he would lift her up and carry her to the bedroom but he had to face facts. He was with Ziva and Ziva was the one in charge, it would take a while to make it happen the other way around but he was perfectly okay with that.

And so when she stood up and hastily got him on his feet, the act itself didn't surprise him. It was the way she leaded him to where they both wanted to be that shook him off his trance. His hands were firmly on her waist and he could feel her skin shivering when he took his mouth to her neck. In that moment, she stopped him and for a moment he thought the moment was gone but instead, she placed her palms on his chest and didn't make any attempt to stop him when his hands started roaming her upper body, their gaze never being interrupted.

Ziva looked at him in a way he believes he'd only seen once in his life. The situations were completely different; back then they were in a car, holding hands for the very first time but their bad luck interfered. This time, they had all the time in the world and he was finally able to memorize that look on her eyes that he loved so much. It was something reserved just for them, something so intimate and personal that was so rarely seen. He got goose bumps when she leaned into him and mumbled his own name into his ear. She lingered there for a moment and that was all he needed to finally grab her hand and lead her into her bedroom, that was all he needed to know it was their time, at last.

Waste their time was not an option now.

Tony felt asleep feeling her breath on his chest and her palm firmly grasping his shoulder. She felt asleep before him, talking about firsts. Ziva David was a cuddler and he smiled proudly to himself when he acknowledged it. Besides, it gave him an excuse to hold her bare body against him. He felt asleep thinking about what had happened just moments ago. Of course he'd imagined their first time, he'd imagined it almost as much as their first kiss. They were connected in many more ways than the ones he knew about and to think there could be more ways still waiting to be found excited him.

It wasn't until early (very early) in the morning that he woke up again. He was covered in blankets and he could see Ziva's silhouette standing across the room. He called for her but she didn't respond. Instead, she kept moving across the room, bending every now and then.

"Ziva?" He tried again but this time, she stepped outside the room. Tony was about to stand up when she came back holding a pile of clothes and tossing it in the bed. "Laundry couldn't wait 'till morning? It's not even dawn yet."

"I'm cold," She took his shirt from the pile and talked as she put it on. "And you were tangled in between all the sheets, DiNozzo."

"So now you gonna wear my clothes as revenge?" He mocked as she grabbed the clothes again and threw them to the nearest chair. Then, she opened her closet and pulled out a smaller blanket with some kind of Christmas print. Tony was about to burst out the inevitable joke when Ziva shut him up, "It is the only one I have and Abby gave it to me, so whatever you're about to say, don't."

Turning off the light on her night stand, she was dragged back to bed by a pair of strong arms around her. Ziva giggled when she felt Tony's breath on the back of her neck and after a quite long fight with the sheets, Tony was finally able to settle behind her and spoon her the way he had done more than once.

"Warm now?" He tightened his embrace and he felt her moving even closer, if possible. She mumbled an answer, Tony was sure of that but he wasn't able to catch any word.

It couldn't get any better or at least, not right now. He had her in his arms, every single wall was down, she was wearing his shirt and his bare legs were tangled with his. It was everything Tony had, at some point, dreamt of. It didn't get any better than this and if it did, he was willing to find out but not tonight. Tonight, she was snuggled at his side and the world had stopped moving.

Tonight, she belonged to him and that was all he ever wanted.

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I was craving for fluff, told ya.

And now, that thing I wanted to tell you:

Here's the thing. The premiere is in less than a week and I just _know_ I will not be able to write or read or even function in society after it happens. The original plot of this story is already reaching the end and so I am trying hard to finish writing this story before Tuesday. Ok, long story short: this story is close to end and I just wanted to apologize in case you were expecting something... different. It's my first time writing T/Z fanfiction, I don't know much about this things but I love this fandom to the moon and back so I don't want to disappoint you. I really enjoy writing about them and I'm sure I will be able to do it once I move to my little AU world where everything is Tiva and everything is fluffy and fair but in the meantime, I don't think I can. This story will be completed, I promise. A couple more chapters will be posted and I really hope I'll be posting one shots or, who knows, another story in the future but I'm gonna need time to process all this change.

Thank you so much for your comments, you truly encouraged me to leave my comfort zone and then this story happened so thank you. This is not over yet so I will see you in the following chapters! This sounded like a goodbye letter... I'm sorry, I'm awkward and I didn't know how to properly tell you this.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** I'm currently working on one more chapter, the last one. I am aware stories can't last forever but still I get a little melancholy. Thank you so much for sticking around, you are the best and I owe you so much. Thank you!

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**Chapter 18, Heart Lines.**

"Robert Grey, thirty-seven, legal owner of the restaurant where the shooting happened. No criminal records, just two speeding tickets sticking out. His employees say they haven't seen him around for almost three weeks now and his credit card hasn't been used at all."

"Family?"

"He's been married twice, boss. He has a kid with his ex-wife and two kids with his current wife. Her name is Miranda, she said she would cooperate if we needed it."

It was barely eight in the morning and they already had a case to work on. It was a resumption of the previous events that happened just a week ago but they had been told to back off. That was until things got complicated, of course. McGee, as usual, did his magic thing with the computer and the background history of their suspect showed up on the screen. Gibbs and Tim were analyzing him, listing the moves they needed to take and trying to get the work moving. It was easier when they were complete and Gibbs' vein was already twitching at the two empty desks beside him.

When the elevator reached the floor, it didn't even open the doors entirely when Ziva was already storming out of it. Tony followed, trying to hide behind her steps and wishing he was invisible for just one precious moment.

"Gibbs," As she threw her bag to her desk, Ziva spoke up. "I am so sorry. The alarm did not go off and then Tony couldn't find the keys and there was _so much_ traffic."

"Two morons crashed just two blocks away from the headquarters, boss. You should've seen that Timmy, one car was right und—"

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called. "We got a case to work on, you're with me today. Move."

Ziva was already by his side when Gibbs called him. She read the information on the screen in front of her and Tony quickly joined to see what the case was all about. He only had a few seconds though; Gibbs was already on his way to the elevator when he was barely reading the third line.

"McGee, David, search for any abnormalities on the guy's file. Phone numbers, friends and all that, you know what to do." He gestured with his phone on his hand as he stopped in front of Ziva's desk and looked directly at Tony, "I don't have all day."

"My bad," Tony said in an undertone and McGee nodded. As soon as Gibbs turned his back on them, he turned to Ziva and stole a quick kiss goodbye. She blushed, something that was common on her nowadays and she followed him until he disappeared into the elevator. McGee was resting his weight against his own desk, staring at Ziva and waiting until she felt his gaze on her.

"What?" She asked and Tim just shook his head as he laughed. It was great for him; this whole "Tony and Ziva are together" thing gave him a lot of benefits. One of them was being able to bother Ziva, something he really enjoyed doing when Tony wasn't around.

They've had been dating for not longer than a month now. After their first night together, the first thing on Tony's list was to clear things up with Kacey and end whatever they had by then. It was the ugly part, the one he really disliked but to his surprise she reacted better than any of his ex. She was one of the good ones, he could tell, just not the one for him.

When everything was under control they finally came clean to the team. They were in the autopsy room, she remembers. For some reason they were all down there when a case was wrapped up and in a fast, short, discrete meeting they both decided to announce it. It rolled out of Tony's lip as natural as a movie reference that most of them didn't catch it at first. Gibbs was the only one who stopped, looked at them deadly in the eye and after what seemed ages, smiled. Ziva repeated it after Jimmy asked and that was when the rest of the team reacted, Tony getting a bit pissed off for the disbelief of his partners.

The quiet room got filled with laughter and cheers in an instant. Tony sent a glance to Ziva from across the room, they never thought it would cause such a big impact on all of them. Ducky started telling stories about their early years and about how _he knew_ they would end up together eventually. Ziva's instincts told her they were just making things up for the occasion but she let them, it seemed to add even more happiness to the moment and after all they'd been through she was glad they seemed to be the team they were before, the family they've always been.

"So how's it going for you two?" McGee asked from his desk, looking up to Ziva while his computer searched the name of one of their suspect's friends on the files. Ziva didn't meet his gaze; her eyes were still firmly on the screen and she was still standing in front of Gibbs' desk. When she didn't answer, Tim went on. "Moving in together still feels odd, huh?"

"It is a change, yes," She finally reacted and started walking to her desk as she replied, Tim's eyes following her all along. "But we're getting used to it. I need to get rid of Tony's alarm, I think I finally know why he is _always_ late."

"Don't you think you maybe… rushed things?"

"Well," Ziva thought about it for a moment and as she sat on her chair a soft smile cracked on her face. McGee was focused on his work now, apparently the computer had found a connection between one of their suspect's friends with their case, she kept talking anyway. "Maybe… but I do not feel that way anymore. Everything is just the way it is supposed to be."

She let her mind wander while Tim kept typing on his computer. Her eyes went to the framed picture placed right next to her little Israeli flag, the one that never failed to make her smile even after a rough day. It was a picture Tony had taken just a week ago while they were taking a break from work. They were in a garden (more properly, a free space with grass between buildings) with coffee in hand and a file Ziva had insisted on taking. Tony was fully laying on the ground and Ziva was sit, reading the file. She had her hair down and when she lowered her head to read, pieces of her hair would cover the side of her face that Tony was looking at. In his perspective, that made a perfectly beautiful picture.

"Tony, stop!" After what might have been the ninth camera shutter sound, she turned directly to him and took his phone away. She was browsing the pictures while he tried to take the phone from her, something that was not going to happen any time soon. "Don't delete them! I still need to choose my favorite."

"You already have a favorite one, yes?" Ziva was holding his phone as far as the length of her arm allowed her and, although having Tony with an arm around her waist and the other one across her wasn't that bad, she wasn't going to let him get it his way quite yet.

Lowering his arm to her lap, he answered. "The Paris one?"

"The Paris one."

"But that picture is old! I need a new one, come on Ziva."

She remained serious, holding his gaze and using all her power to keep the inevitable smile forming on her lips hidden. Apparently, he wasn't going to give up easily and she gave in almost immediately. Ziva rolled her eyes as soon as she felt the smile taking over her and Tony pulled her in to him, tucking her hair behind her ear and placing a light kiss on her temple. When he tried to take the phone from her hands, she moved it away once more.

"Fine, a new picture," When she was sure his hands were out of the phone's reach she moved closer to him. Tony was looking at her attentively as she spoke, "But not just of me. I want a picture of us so it can be my favorite too."

His eyes softened and he noticed how hers did too, that's when he leaned in to kiss her. It wasn't until he agreed to her terms that she lend him his phone and snuggled besides him. Tony placed an arm behind her for support and he lifted the phone to their height taking one, two, three pictures just to make sure he'd get more than one good shot. After that, it was simply impossible to stop him so he kept taking pictures of them and most of the time and despite of her demands, just of her.

The second picture he took of the two of them was the lucky winner that reminded her of what a great gift she had. And Tony? Well, he'd chosen a picture of just her for his desk anyway.

"Any luck yet, McGee?" She thought it'd be appropriate to step out of her dream and get to work. She'd be damned if she became one of those girls who get blinded by love.

"There was a hint…" He lingered on his words a little longer than necessary. "But it was a false alarm, I got the wrong name. Turns out Derek Brook and Derek Brooks are two very different people."

"Someone's getting distracted lately," Finally, Ziva saw a good chance to mock and took it. "I wonder if it has _anything _to do with a girl; a Delilah girl, maybe?"

"Ohh no, no no. I am not doing this with you." He remained a good time quiet until his attention went back to her. She could feel him staring but she didn't look at him, if there was something on his mind he would eventually talk to her. "You never answered," Ziva raised a brow to him. "When I asked you if you two hadn't rushed the moving in together thing."

"I did answer that," She laughed. "You were too distracted thinking about your girlfriend to listen."

"And you're already starting to sound like Tony."

"At least I am not writing wrong nam—" A beep from her computer interrupted her sentence and just like that, they were back to work. It turned out it was the brother who had some kind of connection to the case and Tim was the one who called Gibbs. There were times when she felt she'd lost them; her team, her friends, her family and it still amazed her when they got a case complete all together. It was until moments like that when she saw things clearer, when she realized what they all had was an unbreakable tie. Being in the bullpen, talking with McGee and working to get a case moving seemed so common, so right after a long time of no work at all.

Everything was better in every aspect of her life. She was feeling things she never thought she'd be able to feel and sharing things she'd never dreamt of sharing. In general, everyone looked… happy. All they truly needed was to be together, to have each other. They worked in synchrony, every piece of their puzzle being needed to function. Everything was working out the way it had to, at last, and she was grateful.

All she ever wanted was to have enough and yet, she had everything.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** And so I thought, what's a better way to wrap this up than with a Team chapter? I can't thank you enough for being here all the time. I am deeply sorry for ending this so suddenly but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't finish this fanfic. I'll continue my speech after the chapter. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it a lot. Hopefully I will see you again soon!

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**Chapter 19, My Favorite Part.**

It didn't seem like such a crazy idea to make a barbeque in mid November, especially when it came from Gibbs. Now that Tim, Tony and Ziva knew about the existence of his "secret" cabin it was harder to keep it away from the rest of the team. He was slowly improving it with furniture and electricity but for the occasion he was throwing that afternoon a simple grill and fire was enough. Ducky and Tim arrived with Gibbs just like Abby and Tony arrived with Ziva and yes, there were one short but for the first thirty minutes nobody seemed to catch up.

"So she just drives you to wherever you need to go all the time?"

Abby picked up her discussion with Tony once they settled in the table. She spent the entire trip questioning them about their newish life together (something that got her awfully excited) and making plans for their future; naming the three kids they would for sure have and recommending the colors the living room of their future house should have. Ziva was enjoying the typical Abby company and Tony was too until they reached the transportation topic; ever since, they hadn't stopped arguing about whether Ziva was his driver or not.

"I don't even go out that much!" Tony was sit in front of Tim and Abby was beside him, Ziva avoided their conversation by talking to Ducky. "Besides, I've been trying to get a car but the ninja here won't let me do it."

"What?" Ziva turned to him and then to Abby, who was expectantly looking at her. "It does not make any sense! We work in the same place and besides there's only space for one car in the parking lot of Tony's building." Satisfied, Tony smiled at Abby and in that moment Gibbs came out of the cabin with his grill special gear.

It was so weird to see them all wearing casual clothes and not talking about a murderer. Tim remained quiet as he stared at the scene before him; Ducky and Gibbs in the grill, setting the fire and getting the meat ready; Abby showing Ziva pictures of the new puppy she'd got from his brother and Ziva saying she'd love to adopt one herself and finally, Tony; fighting with the mud on his shoes and the insects that were already invading the table and its surroundings. It looked a little bit too good to be true, everyone was happy, enjoying and forgetting about the job and its implications for a moment.

Even though any of them knew the reason behind the sudden team reunion, none of them were complaining. At some point they were all back to the table, the fire was getting started and in the meantime everyone started talking at, according to Ziva, the only topic they knew. It was then when Tim realized the two empty chairs in an extreme of the table but he didn't say a thing.

"I must say I never thought you two would actually do it," The hot topic was still the way the fairly new relationship of two of their partners moved at the speed of light and they all laughed at Ducky's comment. He waited a little to keep going, "That day when Anthony came down to talk to me I thought it was all a dream of his but now I'm glad it happened, it's been a long road for the two of you."

"But you had two weeks of being together!" Without realizing, Timmy spoke up and despite of his friends' looks, now he had to go on. "I thought it was sudden, that's all."

"Me too," Everyone's attention went straight to Ziva as those words left her lips, some of them surprised, some of them confused. It was something she assumed everyone knew, I mean, who doesn't have their doubts when it comes to an important decision? When she looked at Gibbs, he nodded and that made her smile.

"I thought it was sudden too and I was scared but then I thought about the past, every little thing that got us apart came to my mind and that's how I knew everything was going to be fine. We waited for way too long and, for me, waiting even more did not make any sense."

"And for me too," Tony said as he squeezed her knee and kissed her cheek, causing Ziva to get slightly flushed. Abby let go an "Aww!" comment that was backed up by their co-workers.

"I hope you got rid of rule twelve already, Jethro."

"I had no choice Duck, look at them." Gibbs pointed at the couple besides him and they laughed. In a random instant, Tim's face went serious and Gibbs happened to be looking his way when his sudden change of mood occurred. "Still applies for you, McGee."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Got it boss." He looked around the table and interrupted whatever it was that Tony was about to say. "Hey… where's Jimmy?"

With McGee's observation everyone started talking at the same time. Ducky said he'd told him he'd arrive a little late while Abby said Jimmy was out visiting a cousin in Oregon. Ziva tried to call him, expecting there would be at least a bit of phone signal since the last time they were there but it was in vain. Realizing they wouldn't be able to know exactly where he was they decided to get things going and start grilling the meat which was, by tradition, a task assigned to Tony and Gibbs.

Ducky, Abby and Ziva already had their plates full when a car appeared in the narrow dirt road that led to the cabin. Tony yelled a "look who's here!" as Jimmy parked and got out of the car. He opened the passenger door for the girl whose prettiness was never going to stop impressing the team. Abby changed seats so Breena and Jimmy could sit together and after a lot of cordialities and greetings, they took a seat.

"We thought you wouldn't come!" Abby exclaimed and Ziva nodded. Ducky shared a discrete smile with his partner and kept any kind of comments to himself. Good thing Ziva wasn't looking his way or she would've known he knew something in a second.

Just when Breena was about to answer, Tim appeared with more plates and interrupted. "I was the only one who noticed you weren't here, don't believe them." As he sat on the free spot between Ziva and Ducky he felt a piece of bread hitting his head, when he looked up he saw Abby looking at him with her evil eyes. In that moment Gibbs and Tony joined the table, each one sitting in one of the table's ends and with Gibbs that close, Tim didn't dare throwing something back at her.

"We're sorry guys but we had something to do before coming here and it took a little longer than expected," Jimmy said but nobody asked for any further explanation. Shortly after, Breena picked up the topic once more. "It was worth it though… and we're very excited."

It was until Ziva heard Breena saying it that she locked her eyes with hers. Ducky smiled at the couple with adoration and suddenly, everything clicked.

"Are you getting a baby?" Ziva's eyes were sparkling when Jimmy met her gaze and smiled just the way he did when he first told her their plans. She noticed Breena locking a hand with his under the table and as everyone else caught up with the conversation and repeated her question, she nodded at him and he nodded back. No words were needed with them, neither with Ducky but the rest of them kept asking.

"We are!" Breena laughed and Jimmy kept going. "We met with the lady from the adoption agency and she told us it was a matter of days now, four weeks top."

"That's so great! Congratulations!" Abby, who was right next to Breena, hugged her for everyone and Gibbs made a toast for the upcoming new member of the Team.

Tim asked them about the decoration of the room and Abby said she had great ideas for that girl who'd be her new successor in the NCIS laboratory. Ducky accidently announced the little one's name and they all cheered, Alexandra had a great ring to "Palmer." Gibbs mocked with Jimmy saying he was not allowed to skip work after the long nights that were waiting for him and Ducky seconded him. Tony was laughing and joking at every chance he got while Ziva was curiously quiet. She sure smiled at every comment about the baby or about her little clothes or about the big birthday parties she'd have but no words were coming out of her. Breena looked directly at her for a moment and a warm smile was shared. According to Jimmy, she already felt the sixth sense every mother has by the time Ziva realized her full attention was on her, it was already too late.

"What about you, Ziva?" Slowly, everyone's attention turned to her and she smiled, narrowing her eyes and giving a confused look in response. "You and Tony, Alex's gonna want a cousin to play."

Everyone's mood rose to the heavens as laughter and applauses filled the atmosphere. Ziva blushed and she tried to hide it by laughing but it didn't work. Tony grabber her hand since he knew how nervous those kind of situations got her and smiled, saving her by throwing a joke and redirecting the attention back to his friends.

That move would've worked if he didn't know them better.

"That would be so cute!" Abby yelled and Breena agreed, the two of them already throwing out different scenarios of the future NCIS children.

"Come on, they're not taking things slow but they're not rushing them that much either!"

This time, McGee's comment wasn't frowned upon by his partners. Instead, Ziva pointed at him and nodded and Tony raised his beer to him. "See? Probie knows best! You should all listen to Timmy, he's a writer."

"You can't deny it," Jimmy spoke up, smiling and looking in Ziva's direction. In that exact second she regretted being relatively close to him. "At least you've thought about it, right?"

But what kind of woman would she be if she hadn't thought of that? When she was little, she went to that stage when she would imagine her wedding, her perfect house, the perfect dog and of course, the perfect children. Life changed so fast for her and she was forced to forget about those dreams sooner than she would've liked and, over the years, she assumed a family was simply not written in her destiny. She told herself she was okay with that and when she arrived to NCIS, she never had enough time to think about it anyway.

That was until she thought she was in love and her heart ended up being broken. That was until she realized she wasn't capable of having a serious relationship. That was until she found someone who was just as romantically dysfunctional as her and that was until she had to accept she was in love with the man who sat in front of her every single day.

Most times, life's a tricky thing.

"Yes," She answered and they all smiled, waiting for her to go on. "It is every girl's dream, I think. I was sure a family was not a part of my plans, mostly because I thought I would never be good enough for anybody and… I don't know, lately I feel like maybe I am."

It was so easy to forget what Ziva had been through, what she'd seen and what she'd lived. When she was with them, she was full of joy and she was simply one of them. This Ziva, the one that wasn't afraid of speaking her mind was so different from the girl they met eight years ago. She was so different from the girl that would lock herself in her thoughts and wouldn't let anybody in. When she finished talking, everyone remained silent. Ziva felt Tony's hand holding her own tighter and she smiled at him, his eyes never leaving hers.

"You are," His eyes were looking right through her and the vulnerability she was feeling disappeared, with him she felt protected. "You are more than I thought I'd find. Hell, it took me a long time to figure it out but I did, we did, and I'm glad it happened because I cannot imagine a life without you. You are way more than enough, Ziva. You are you and that can't be helped."

Ziva laughed at his reference and she leaned into him, Tony being the one to close the gap between their lips. The rest of them finally dared to talk again and Tony smiled into the kiss when he heard they were talking about Jimmy's baby again. When they pulled apart, Ziva cupped his face with her hand and caressed her cheek, whispering a "thank you" that was only meant for him to hear. Tony took her hand from his face and kissed it before intertwining their fingers and resting their hands on his knee. It wasn't hard for them to get into the conversation again, as long as they remained talking about happy topics and not cases everything was alright.

As the night approached, Tony made sure the fire was entirely consumed and everyone helped cleaning the table and gathering the trash. They hugged and said their goodbyes like they were an old group of friends who wouldn't see each other again for a long time and they left, Jimmy and Breena first since their car was covering the road. Abby said she wanted to leave with Gibbs because she had something to tell him but if Jimmy was a bad liar, she was even worse.

Ziva hugged her as he reassured her it was no bother at all for them to drive her home but she insisted. Tony complained because, according to him, they'd just go and have fun together somewhere else. They ended up leaving before them since Tim couldn't find his phone and as soon as they were back in town and Ziva's phone received signal, she got a text from Abby saying they were on their way to the city too.

It was a little past ten when they arrived to the apartment. Tony kicked off his shoes as soon as he stepped inside and Ziva went to the bedroom to change her flats for slippers. After he checked the phone for any missing calls and made sure the front door was locked he joined her in the bedroom, finding her already wearing one of his shirts. She wasn't facing the door so she didn't see him shaking his head with the biggest grin on his face; she just felt his arms wrapping her and his warm lips placing tender kisses on her neck.

"You really like that shirt, don't you?" He whispered into her ear and felt her skin shivering. It was a reaction he'd never get tired of feeling, especially when a soft laugh came along with it. His arms left her while he freed himself from his clothes; he never told Ziva the shirt she wore the most was the one he liked to wear at night too, the view made up for it. He had another shirt of his liking by now, another shirt that she would be free to steal anytime she wanted.

"I'm sorry for the baby thing, you know how they can be sometimes." She feels him crawling under the sheets and tossing an arm around her. Ziva spins her body to face him and steals a brief kiss to his lips, he takes the opportunity to get his arm under her neck and pull her into him.

Her hand travels up and down his arm and she smiles, "I know."

The room gets quiet as she snuggles in his side, resting her head on his chest and slightly grasping his shoulder with her free hand. Tony wrapped her with his arms, resting a hand over her waist and the other one on her hip. She was sure he knew she wasn't sleeping but he also knew her good enough to know silence was probably all she needed.

Every single day, she convinced herself she had the best life she could've ever asked for. She had every single thing she thought she would never have because she didn't deserve them. The thing Ziva was most grateful for was NCIS. If it wasn't for her job she wouldn't have the rest of the things she loved; someone who takes care of her like a father, friends that by know felt more like family, a home, the opportunity to change lives, Tony.

The last thing she remembers thinking about before drifting off to sleep is Tony, but this time he's not alone. A little girl is taking his hand and she's smiling in a way that is, no doubt, all Tony's. She has her hair, wild and long brunette curls falling to her back and she looks at her with beautiful honey eyes. It is all an illusion, she knows, but it feels so real that she can't help the smile on her face. Tony grips her tighter and that's when she falls asleep completely.

She belongs to him today and that's all that matters. They now know that as long as they are together, they're invincible.

* * *

I wrote a thing that is kind of an epilogue of this story but I didn't feel like it fit in here so I will post it tomorrow as another is a one-shot, something that came out of nowhere but I really liked it.

I don't think I'll ever stop apologizing to you, I wanted this fic to be everything you were expecting and I think I let you down and I am really sorry. In my point of view, the plot of this story has been resolved but that doesn't mean this can't continue. Like I said, I am moving to my own little AU world and once I'm settled, I am sure I will come back and write a bit more of the way I picture season 11 can go (in my imaginary world, of course. I can't write about Ziva leaving... nope.) I hope you are handling this whole Cote situation better than me, though.

Anyway, thank you for making this an amazing experience and for being so warm with me. I know I'm not J. K. Rowling but I'm learning so much from all you amazing Tiva writers out there. This has been great, I can't find the words to tell you how happy I am with this story.

**Thank you so, so much. **


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